Suggested Caption:"James and his wife agreed that Romans 9 is a difficult passage, but they grew frustrated with their neighbor's unending appeals to middle knowledge."
Bodean Beets and his wife, Bambi, are disappointed with the Amish Witness Protection Plan because they had to downsize and move to a county where eighty three percent of the farmers are Scientologists.
Harold "Happy" Dill and his wife Joy have been members of, and subsequently resigned from (citing doctrinal differences), 43 different churches over the past 20 years, the most recent one being the 'Open Assembly of We Four and No More.' Harold and Joy have now started their own church, which meets weekly in their tornado shelter. An unnamed source, however, has reported that Joy has recently begun to read Tabletalk magazine. Until she gains a better understanding of this "strange new teaching" called Reformed Theology, she keeps the magazines hidden in her bed, where Harold won't find them.
Homer Dourson, turnip farmer and pastor of the River of Joy Church of the Mournful, often used farm implements to illustrate a point in his sermons. He also found them useful in waking sleeping parishoners.
The joy of the Lord certainly is my strength but it's hard to beat a pitchfork when it comes to chasing witches, ogres, and revenuers....and hippies, darn dirty hippies.