There are so many songs about the moon.
Blue Moon; It's Only a Paper Moon, Bad Moon Rising;
Blue Moon of Kentucky; Moonlight in Vermont;
Fly Me to the Moon; Moon River; etc., etc., etc.
Your challenge is to re-write one to make it a little more
Calvinistic in some way.
So the moon is made of Velveeta??? :)
ReplyDeletePumping up the JAM
ReplyDeleteDark, night,
The moon was bright.
Cold, icy,
Yet most enticing.
Out, nightly,
Oh, so rightly.
(Chorus)
JAM! JAM! JAM! It was time to jam!
JAM! JAM! JAM! TIME TO JAM!
JAM! JAM! JAM! You know you can!
Come on, get your flashlights - it's time to JAM!
Together, separate,
He was 'bout ta get it.
Flashlights, ready,
Hold 'em steady.
Moonlight, starbright,
Don't grant his wish tonight.
(Chorus)
JAM! JAM! JAM! It's time to jam!
JAM! JAM! JAM! TIME TO JAM!
JAM! JAM! JAM! You know you can!
Come on, get your flashlights - it's time to JAM!
Moon, shining,
It was time for fighting.
Arminian, Calvinist,
Standing in the mist.
Maglite, Fenix,
You know what time it is.
(Chorus)
JAM! JAM! JAM! It's time to jam!
JAM! JAM! JAM! TIME TO JAM!
JAM! JAM! JAM! You know you can!
Come on, get your flashlights - it's time to JAM!
Quick move, slow move,
It was time to groove.
Flashing, dashing,
Things were smashing.
Loser, winner,
The herd was thinner.
(Chorus)
JAM! JAM! JAM! It's time to jam!
JAM! JAM! JAM! TIME TO JAM!
JAM! JAM! JAM! You know you can!
Come on, get your flashlights - it's time to JAM!
He lost, I won,
Under the opposite of the sun.
Defeated, depleted,
He took off with a run.
Screaming, dreaming,
And probably scheming.
He was out-JAMmed, come on, JAM if you can!
(Chorus)
JAM! JAM! JAM! It's time to jam!
JAM! JAM! JAM! TIME TO JAM!
JAM! JAM! JAM! You know you can!
Come on, get your flashlights - it's time to JAM!
(JAM=Jamming Arminian Moves)
Yes, I wrote this completely on the spot in like ten minutes. That's sad, isn't it? :-D
I am not responsible for any pain brought upon the individual while he reads the above. :-D
ReplyDeleteI guess I scared everyone away.
ReplyDeleteIt's the grenade in the moon! Hee hee!!
ReplyDelete@Joel: Bwahahahahaha! You made me laugh and wince all at the same time. Awesome job! :D
ReplyDeleteMaybe someday computers will be equipped with built-in drum machines. Then, and only then, can we truly appreciate Pumping up the JAM like J to the I would have it.
ReplyDeleteI could sure use some waffles with all that JAM :d
ReplyDeleteTo the tune of Moon River
ReplyDeleteJohn Calvin
Writings cent'ries old
They're worth their weight in gold today
It's sound preaching, and deft teaching
The works that he's written did not fade away
John Calvin
Though he's been dead long
His passion for God's glory speaks
So if you have not read his stuff, Institutes you must,
It's really not that tough, John Calvin, to read
(The idea of Calvin for this tune was suggested by my daughter, Reformed Squirrel.)
Great song you made even better! Now if we could only get Michael Bublé to record it.
ReplyDeleteBlainmonster, you may have been the only one to see Corky in the moon!
ReplyDelete@ Persis
ReplyDeleteI can almost hear Andy Williams' voice.
@Joel: Wow. That about killed me, good thing I wasn't sipping my coffee at the moment. I could easily see this playing in the background of your previous word writing challenge stories. By the way, in ten minutes? You should have this done professionally. Would Julian Smith be available?
ReplyDelete@Persis: Nice work, that's pretty good, and I can hear the tune clearly in my head.
ReplyDelete@Eddie Eddings: Buble can sing, but Dave Koz will have to play the sax with him. :-)
A duo like that was predestined I'm sure. Just as sure as this comment is elect.
ReplyDeleteHow about you guys get real and write one about James Arminius? Huh? And oh, you don't wanna JAM with me little man, oh no, baby. I gots some serious moves!
ReplyDeleteMr. Timn said...
ReplyDelete"How about you guys get real and write one about James Arminius? Huh?"
To the tune of One Little, Two Little, Three Little Indians ...(On The Moon) (ahem)
There once was a man named James Arminius.
He had a garden full of Zinnias.
Tulips made his head go spinius.
Poor ol' James Arminius.
To the tune of Fly Me to the Moon
ReplyDeleteFly up to the moon;
Or search among the stars.
Never since Apostle Paul
Preached on a hill called Mars,
Has theology been so grand.
John Calvin, yes he's our man.
Huss, he made 'em hop;
Martin Luther made 'em dance'
But no one made 'em Rock and Roll
Like this brainy kid from France.
Let's everyone join - hand in hand;
John Calvin, mister, you're our man.
Oh, a funny guy huh! I'm gonna go get me some of that ice cream, boy!
ReplyDeleteBad Moon Rising Over Holland
ReplyDeleteThis rousing number was written to inspire the delegates at the Synod of Dordrecht. It was sung prior to the opening of each session. The manuscript was discovered in the late 20th Century and was made into a Revival song.
__________________
I see the bad moon rising.
I see Remonstrants on the way.
I see the road to compromising.
I see bad times today.
Don't give up the fight.
Load your canons, aim them right.
There's a bad moon on the rise.
I hear "conditionl election."
Depravity will then be thrown out soon.
"Free will" will be there over-flowing.
Atonement will be lying there in ruin.
(reprise)
Hope Dort has got their things together.
Hope they have asked the Lord for light.
Think of some points to counter error.
Put those Pelagians to flight.
(reprise)
@Persis and Stranger: Haha! Those were great! :)
ReplyDelete@Craig:
ReplyDeleteBravo! I can hear Frank singing in my head on your Calvin song, and I love your version of Bad Moon Rising.
To Moonlight in Vermont
ReplyDeleteEdwards on the shelf
Spurgeon magnet on your fridge
Cage-stage Calvinist
Monergism Tee
Tulip tattooed on your arm
Cage-stage Calvinist
Throw out old books that don't teach election
To make room for dead puritans
Get into fights over predestination
And pull out your new favorite book that's...
Calvin's Institutes
Bench press with your ESV
Cage-stage Calvinist
Absolutely LOVE IT!
ReplyDelete
ReplyDeleteThere once was a man named James Arminius.
He had a garden full of Zinnias.
Tulips made his head go spinius.
Poor ol' James Arminius.
ROFL! I will be learning that one. I enjoy being a jukebox.
I absolutely love CC.
ReplyDelete@ Persis
ReplyDelete"Moonlight in Vermont / Edwards on the shelf"
Perfect!! Just perfect!!
ConstitutionGirl sang... I enjoy being a jukebox.
ReplyDeleteWritten for ConstitutionGirl.
To the tune of I Enjoy Being a Girl from "Flower Drum Song"
When I get a brand new hymn book,
And my mind is filled with His Word,
I will go through the day
And shall sing as I pray
Sweet praises unto my Lord.
__________________
@Joel: Ditto. It seems a lot of other people do to considering this post has 28 (make that 29) comments.
ReplyDeleteMy goodness! Thank you Mr. Boyd! I've never had a song written for me before.... hee hee! I'm a jukebox; it's true. Now I need to go learn that tune, so I can sing it.......
ReplyDeleteYou shouldn't have any problem. I usually google the word "Lyrics" and the song title, and I get several results.
ReplyDeleteI am not crazy about most of the tunes in "Flower Drum Song," but this one is great. A real toe-tapper. I'm sure you will be humming it in your sleep. (I never imagined that I would be making up words for a song to Jesus to go with that tune : )
Are non-dancing Baptists allowed to tap their toes? How does that work?
ReplyDeleteI'm Reformed Baptist, and I dance, so I shouldn't have a problem. :D
ReplyDeleteEddie said:
ReplyDeleteBlainmonster, you may have been the only one to see Corky in the moon!
Hey! I saw Corky too! :)
How did Corky get all the way up there?
ReplyDeleteI didn't see Corky at first, but reformed squirrel's comment tipped me off. For some reason, The Blainemonster's comment about the moon being made of Velveeta went right past me. I was probably busy thinking, "Man, I don't know how to write song lyrics."
ReplyDeleteIt's hard to miss Corky's explosive personality :)
ReplyDelete@Stranger: "Are non-dancing Baptists allowed to tap their toes? How does that work?"
ReplyDelete*Gasp*! How DARE you even suggest such a thing!!!
:-D.
Well, Joel the I., Ya never know unless you ask. Some people wonder if we Presbyterian and Reformed types are allowed to laugh. : l
ReplyDeleteHmmm. Now that I think about it, I wonder that, myself. There doesn't seem to be many of us commenting here on CC. Maybe I'd better read the church's bylaws to see if I'm violating any rules.
ReplyDeleteWell, well. Says it right here. Page 1, article 1, bold-face, all CAPS: "THE CHOSEN SHALL REMAIN FROZEN." I even had it underlined.
ReplyDelete@Stranger: "THE CHOSEN SHALL REMAIN FROZEN."
ReplyDeleteWell, guess that settles it!
Instead of, "Get funny wid it", it's, "Don't get funny wid it."
However, here on the dark side (a.k.a., CC), we're putting the FUN back in Fundamentalism!
Also putting the "Mental" back in Fundamentalism.
ReplyDeleteWe got some smart cookies here. I think you are one of 'em, Joel. : )
"Buy da Book"....
ReplyDelete"Fun da Mental"....
The possibilities are endless... Hmmm....
All right, I know it's a couple days late but here's my song entry. Partly inspired by Persis and reading Spurgeon's Sermons last night.
ReplyDeleteFirst, here's the music track: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KF0Adq7Bmp0
Charles Spurgeon, to the tune of Moon River:
Charles Spurgeon,
Dead for quite a while,
Still men of every style,
Study you.
You great preacher,
You good writer,
Whatever you wrote then
We’re reading today.
Charles Spurgeon,
You started out so young,
Preached for so very long
We read.
And we know, you stayed
Reformed until the end,
My expository friend,
Charles Spurgeon, intrigues me.
That Charles Spurgeon, intrigues me.
Great songs everyone! We'll have to do this again someday...and sorry I missed you in my comment, Reformed Squirrel. I remember you picked out Nigel Pettibone and Corky in an older post, many moons ago.
ReplyDelete@ Michael
ReplyDeleteYou are in fine voice today brother.
@ Eddie
...."many moons ago" lqol.
@Stranger: I think I kinda sound like Barry Manilow today, perhaps tomorrow I'll try Sinatra.
ReplyDelete@Eddie: "I remember you picked out Nigel Pettibone and Corky in an older post, many moons ago."
ReplyDeleteI did? I don't remember that. You must have a good memory for comments.