"Listen, Meg: I'm really, really sorry I sold our engagement ring, but it was the only way I could afford to buy that set of Calvin's commentaries. You've gotta believe me, honey!"
"It is better that you found this out now rather than later, Emmylou. When I caught Tony sneaking out the back window, he had this in his pocket, a ticket to Oberlin, Ohio, and a letter of intent to study under Professor Charles Finney."
"You're telling me that because I'm a Calvinist, you won't even sit next to me?"
ReplyDelete"Listen, Meg: I'm really, really sorry I sold our engagement ring, but it was the only way I could afford to buy that set of Calvin's commentaries. You've gotta believe me, honey!"
ReplyDelete"Face it. You know we're predestined to be together."
ReplyDelete"Look I don't have to love Spurgeon for you to love me...right?...right?"
ReplyDelete"I saw you reading Love Wins, I know I did. It's not about marriage. We can work through this..."
ReplyDelete"Lou Ann, I know eschatology is important, I was just kidding when I said I was a panmillenialist.
ReplyDeleteI just don't think we can go on after you preached on Ephesians 1 and still said you believe in free will.
ReplyDelete"But darling! How was I supposed to know you were supralapsarian before I preached a sermon against it?!"
ReplyDeleteAlright already, I'll eat the dang piece of fruit, but you're gonna be the one who climbs this big ol' tree to get it first!
ReplyDelete"Really, dear, did you have to throw the bouquet out the window? Tulips rock!"
ReplyDelete"No, I don't believe in a Pre or Mid-Tribulational Rapture! That doesn't mean things have to end!"
ReplyDelete"Herbert, if you make one more crack about Servetus, you can kiss our dating good-bye."
ReplyDelete"It is better that you found this out now rather than later, Emmylou. When I caught Tony sneaking out the back window, he had this in his pocket, a ticket to Oberlin, Ohio, and a letter of intent to study under Professor Charles Finney."
ReplyDelete"It's your fault we've been banished from this garden. Now, start letting me rule over you, I've got that thorny ground to toil over"
ReplyDeleteCalvinist pickup line #5:
ReplyDelete"Your name must be Grace, because I find you irresistible."
@Persis: Hahahaha! Nice one!
ReplyDelete"Excuse me, do you work at a buffet? Because I think it was predestined that I take you out."
ReplyDeleteLove it, @Persis!
ReplyDelete