Saturday, January 3, 2009

The Journal of Cotton Adams #4

July 22, 1737
"The Preacher", as he preferred to be called, was a man by the name of Booder Butterbean, a tall, lanky fellow with ears the size of blacksmith anvils. I providentially discovered his unique ministry while on my way to Granville county. He had a wagon full of Bibles and Gospel tracts, and a portable pulpit he had built himself. He called it, "I Drive U Buggy - Evangelistic Ministry on Wheels". He had also made little cards he gave to all who wanted them. These cards were brightly decorated and printed on them were the words, "Verses in Scripture Applied". He said they were a reminder to memorize and apply to one's life...he called them "VISA cards". He started out with a song - "I preach from Grace-filled doctrines with a banjo on my knee". Then he cleverly used the acronym BANJO and molded his sermon thusly:
B - Bad to the bone
A - All the elect drawn

N - Nobody but the Bride of Christ
J - Just as irresistible as can be

O - On the pages of the Book of Life forever!

He ended his sermon with a banjo solo and a double backflip and the townsfolk received him gladly. I made my way to the front of the crowd, introduced myself, and asked for an audience with him later that day. Then I found a large oak tree and bedded down for a short nap. Shortly afterwards, I awoke from my slumber by Preacher Butterbean and a large group of towns people.
"Well, here I am Mr. Adams, and I brought an audience with me!"
His lack of formal education had an innocent quality and we became the best of friends. I was certain we would meet again someday soon.


  1. Had he by any chance read 'What Every Preacher Should Know! The Pastor’s Success Handbook', where a minister is, among other things, advised to 'Print an Attractive Card on Slick Stock and Salt the Town Down With It'. If so I hope 'the Preacher' will remember that 'Sometimes, when no one is moving on “Just As I Am,” [or in this case, a double back flip banjo solo] you might find it best to switch to “Almost Persuaded” or “Where He Leads Me I Will Follow” [in this case perhaps a harmonica duet - one on each side of the mouth - while balancing a beachball on the nostrils].'


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