Thursday, May 6, 2010

Horsemen and Footsoldiers


  1. Is this THE Corky, without his Romans nine handgrenade suit?

    just by the way, the 'word verification' captcha for leaving a comment was 'prelectr'. this your influence? ;-)

  2. No, this isn't THE Corky. But, thanks to you, I did some research and found out he IS one of Corky Velveeta's distant relatives!

  3. Sadly, many people can't define the terms much better.

  4. John to Ricky " You mean they're gonna let you play that geetar at church today, son?"

    Ricky to John "That's not all... They have thrown out the hymnals and the pipe organ. All we do now is play 7/11 praise tunes with guitars and drums."

    John to Ricky " Oh my Heavens..."

  5. Strangely enough, Corky Velveeta's parents were also named Ozzie and Harriet. Wa-ha.

  6. John: " You've sung the same 4 words over & over a dozen times, pilgrim"

    Ricky: " Yea, its called a praise tune"

    John: "What about the hymns?"

    Ricky: " We don't do those any more, people in the 19th century are toos sophisticated for Hymns..."

  7. Rick: So, you are a western movie idol? Some people call me a "teenage idol."

    Duke: Oh yeah? Who calls you a teenage idol?

    Rick: publicity agent, for one.

  8. "Let me give you one piece of advice, young man. Stay away from Garden parties."

  9. John:
    "Let's hear one of those hymns from the Bay Psalm Book, Pilgrim."

    "Excuse me, but you are thinking of two different groups. The "Pilgrims" were separatists who settled in what would be named Plymouth Bay. The Bay Psalm book was the hymnal used later in the Massachusetts Bay Colony."

    "...(pause)...Well, how about singing, Jesus Loves the Little Children ?"

  10. John: "Thanks a fancy new geetar, pilgrim"

    Ricky: "Yea, it's am Arminian Free-Will-o-caster."

    John: "Does it rock?"

    Ricky: "I don't keeps losing its tune and it won't decide which key to play in..."

  11. John: "what kind of music do they play over to that church, pilgrim?"

    Ricky: " They replaced the hymns with praise choruses several years ago. They also took out the chior and replaced sermons with skits and stand-up comedy."

    John: " Whose bright idea was that? "

    Ricky: " Some guy in the southern Californy territory. "

    John: " How does anyone get saved?"

    Ricky: " They teach that all people have the same afterlife experience regardless of what they believe."

    John: " Universalism..."

    Ricky: " Yea, that's what it is..."

  12. John: "Play me one of them new-fangled praise tunes you lernt down to the church, Pilgrim."

    Ricky: " W-W-R-W-D spells what would Rick Warren do, W-W...

    And then there's If you're Arminian and you know it clap your hands... "

    John: "How about this, Pilgrim? Rock of Ages, cleft for me. Let me hide myself in Thee; Let the water and the blood, from Thy wounded side which flowed, Be of sin the double cure, save from wrath and make me pure."

    Ricky: "Wow, there's more theology in that stanza than anything that has ever been done at the prairie-driven church!"

  13. and the doctorin' of Grace is what you get from the nurse when the doc's out of town.
    and a hyper Calvinist is the guy whooping at the front of the cavalry charge. (Sorry...I'll go away now)

  14. Funny comments everyone!

    ...these are what Calvinistic humor blogs are made of...

  15. John: "I hear John Piper has invited Relevant Rick to speak at his conference."

    Ricky: "What on earth was he thinking?"

  16. John: "...and here's another nickel's worth of free advice, young man. You and that fancy geetar better stay away from those Emergent Garden Parties..."


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