Monday, February 2, 2009

Random Word Writing Contest #2

A new day brings a new challenge!
Write a paragraph or two using the following random words:
warts, Eskimo, box, jump
Entries may be poetry, prose, fiction, essays or interviews. (or any other form of creatively written expression.) Just be funny. And give your piece a TITLE. The winner will be announced on February 9th and will be awarded a Calvinistic Cartoons Excellence in Random Word Writing Award. I would wish you all good luck if I were not a Calvinist.

1 comment:

  1. Penguin Popsicles

    There once was an inventor named Mr. Smithers. As a kid, he read Popular Mechanics and dreamed of inventing the neatest, most amazing contraption that ever was. After many failed attempts, such as the hydraulic nose hair trimmer, he was getting some warts frozen off his hand with liquid nitrogen and suddenly had an epiphany. He would invent the first ever cryogenic chamber for pets. This way poor Fido and Fluffy, who may be suffering from illness that had no cure, could be put on ice until the cure was found. Mr. Smithers set to work at once. Shut up in his laboratory, he worked for months only sustained by Skittles, Eskimo Pies, and Hungry Man dinners. At last his machine was done but he had to find test subjects. He was reluctant to try it on his relatives' pets so he had another brainwave. He would test it on penguins. Since they were cold natured anyway, if something went wrong, they would likely suffer less damage than a pug or a Pomeranian. He then set off for Antarctica to hire some test subjects. Upon arriving there, he thought he could just grab some penguins, put them in a box, and take them back home. However, he discovered that the penguins were being represented by an agent. The penguins had found sudden fame and fortune by the movie “March of the Penguins”, “Happy Feet”, and most recently a Nature Channel documentary involving several open theists. The penguins were also in the middle of negotiations with RTC, Reformed Theology Channel, who were doing a series of nature films illustrating the sovereignty of God in creation. After some negotiations, several of the penguins agreed to sign on as test subjects. Some were reluctant because of the bad experience they had with the open theist but in the end they agreed. After bringing the penguins home, he coaxed them to jump into the cryogenic chamber by enticing them with some fish. He then closed them in and began the slow freezing process. At first it look promising as the penguins began to act sleepier as their body temperatures approached absolute zero. When all seemed to be going to plan, the penguins suddenly all woke up and began banging on the chamber door demanding more fish. Even as the temperature dropped, the penguins grew even more lively. Poor Mr. Smithers! He eventually opened the door to the chamber. The penguins all trooped out demanding more food. He fed them and got them on the first flight back to Antarctica. This goes to show that the old saying is true:

    Many were cold but few were frozen.


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