Thursday, September 22, 2011

Atheist Devotional Book

Came across this book by Faye Rosehart in a used book store while I was in the States this summer. Seems that Faye Rosehart wrote this book a year before she passed on. She was a chain smoker and corn cob pipe enthusiast. This was a very strange book to read. Her idea was to have a daily guide to atheistic principles and propaganda. Faye was buried with a carton of Winstons.

Here is a page from this volume. Let me know what you think of it.

During my first month working at the book store, a red-haired man who looked like Red Buttons pushed his way through the line at the information desk and barked, "I need a book called Atheists and the Unicorn!" 
The tiny woman at the front of the line gingerly looked at him and said, "I should rip your heart out...but, you don't seem to have one."
I smiled at both of them and told the rude man, "The book you're wanting is called, Atheists and the UNIVERSE." I began walking around the counter to lead him to the shelf.
He stopped in his tracks. "No, young lady, the book I want is called Atheists and the Unicorn. It's by... let's see..." He wrinkled his brow in thought. "Kip Tawkin."
"You're close, sir," I said, "it's by Kip Squawkin."
"No, I know I'm right."
He seemed so sure of himself that I mumbled, "I check our inventory and see if it's here."
"Never mind. I will go elsewhere!"
He stormed off and got into his car. Then he drove it into our store, breaking the front glass doors and injuring four other innocent atheists.
I shot through his windshield five or six times, with my handgun, before the car door came open and Mr. Pompous Baboon fell out. 
I rushed to his side and lifted up his head. His last words were..."It's a livin'."
We informed the police before we cremated him.
What does it all matter anyway? We all wind up being nothing with a lower case "n". 
Hope this helps you as you speed through your miserable life, my friends. 
This is Faye Rosehart saying, "Love to smoke, love to drink, I think I married the missing link."  


  1. What does it all matter anyway? We all wind up being nothing with a lower case "n".
    What a sad, empty life.

  2. What's so sad is that what you write in jest so many are actually living wholeheartedly. Praise God for His grace or else we'd all be there!

  3. "Faye Rosehart" I didn't get it until I said the name out loud.

  4. There is an approximately 7 year old Faye Rosehart in the 1920 United States Federal Census.

  5. "Love to smoke, love to drink, I think I married the missing link."


  6. I had to say it a number of times changing the emphasis till I finally "got it" stranger, :-(

  7. To see all the Faye Rosehart episodes, click "Faye Rosehart" listed in Labels underneath the post or scroll down and type "Faye Rosehart" into the Search box.

  8. Or you can just Google her as in :-), she's pretty famous you know.

  9. I need to be getting one of these for my library...

  10. Michael, these "devotionals" are extremely hard to find so I have decided to post more pages from this tomb...I mean, the future.

  11. Even rarer are copies of the "Book of Common Players" written by Karl Opium who left his Marx on society in 1844!


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