Friday, September 30, 2011

Atheist Devotional Book #2

Here is another page from the devotional designed to keep atheism evolving:

My favorite flowering plant is the hibiscus. Last summer I bought a large potted red one and put it on our patio. Nurtured by rain and our sprinkler system, the plant grew like a weed in a vegetable garden. I enjoyed immensely its rich green leaves and bright trumpet blossoms. Does evolution have good ideas or what?

This winter, as the temperature dipped near freezing, I brought the hibiscus into our sunny breakfast room to protect it from the cold. There was one problem, however: I wasn't accustomed to watering the plant and I soon forgot to. Last week I discovered the hibiscus wilted, yellow, frail and no longer breathing.

I was disgusted with myself for being so neglectful to a harmless plant. I went to the closet, got out a croquet mallet and pounded it flat in front of all my other plants. I wanted them to know that I am the master.

I walked over to one of my chrysanthemums, which was in shock, and slapped it around. Then I ran over the rest of my outside plants with my lawnmover.

In the midst of all this, I wept for their evolutionary history. Just think, if plants had become the predominant life form, we might be suffering from mistreatment in the green leaves of a Venus Flytrap!

Go gently through that good night everybody. Be positive about the negative wherever your feet find you.


  1. Thank you for posting this. It's just what I needed. Very uplifting.

  2. How does an atheist have a "quiet time"? Do they just sit around and think about themselves?

  3. I got two words - demon possessed

  4. @Persis: *grins* I'm not sure what else they'd do. :)

  5. HAHAHAAHAHAHA! I just got it, "Faye Rosehart" - say it 10 times fast!

    These "burnt match" devotionals are just great.

    How about expanding this? You could create an Arminian devotional series called "SHRAPNEL From a Disarmed Grenade", where they talk about how amazingly sovereign man's will is? Or maybe you could call it "FRUIT From an Artificial Tree." Or "HEARTBEATS From a Dead Corpse."

  6. THEO, creative ideas but Arminians have already covered the globe with devotionals.
    Atheists, however, are prime targets for some "Mount Carmel mocking".


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