Thursday, February 12, 2015
Tesla's Scientific Mind
Nikola Tesla had a great respect for the Bible and Christianity. His mother taught him that all truth came from the Bible and his father was an Orthodox priest. There is no doubt God used him to help usher in the 20th and 21st centuries with his amazing inventions. As you read the quote and listen to the video below, you will see how a man, focused on science alone, can come so close to Ultimate Truth, yet miss the Ultimate Answer.
Was Tesla a Christian? There is no strong evidence for it. Tesla died alone and broke on January 7, 1943 at the age of 86. His body wasn't discovered until two days later by the maid who ignored the "Do Not Disturb" sign on his New Yorker Hotel room.
God could have dealt with Nikola in his last hours. A dying man, some say, often returns to his childhood memories and will contemplate his relationship with God when he knows he will meet Him soon. Nikola Tesla read the Bible. One of his inventions was based on an idea he received while reading the book of Revelation. Maybe some of God's Truth got hold of him before he left.
Wednesday, February 11, 2015
New CD by Henrietta Pettibone
Just before her capture in Kosovo, Henrietta Borax-Pettibone recorded this CD of African American spirituals. During the investigation, Barry Cade, the CIA agent, found out that the Hen Foundation was recently formed to collect funds for bribing guards, judges, police officers and wardens. When the last track on this album is played backwards, it gives the location of her cell and where her fake passports are hidden. Here are the lyrics to one of the songs:
When the trains come along,
When the trains come along
I'll meet you at the station
When the trains come along
When the trains come along
I'll meet you at the station
When the trains come along
I may be blind an' cannot see
But I'll meet you at the station
When the trains come along
But I'll meet you at the station
When the trains come along
I may be lame an' cannot walk
But I'll meet you at the station
When the trains come along
But I'll meet you at the station
When the trains come along
Now get me out
of this old jail cell
I'll meet you at the station
When the trains come along
Somebody please just pay my bail
I'll meet you at the station
When the trains come along
There's a whole lotta cash
just waiting for you
I'll meet you at the station
When the trains come along
Bust me out and you'll get what's due
I'll meet you at the station
When the trains come along
Whatever you do, do not purchase this CD. If you do, you might get a visit from Barry Cade himself. Mr. Cade thinks that Henrietta might attempt to break out of prison real soon.
Tuesday, February 10, 2015
Monday, February 9, 2015
Sunday, February 8, 2015
Saturday, February 7, 2015
Curious Snow Globe
This unusual snow globe, sent in by Dr. Bela Carloft, is dated 1902. Sending Calvinistic Cartoons this priceless object (it had no price tag on it) was on Dr. Carloft's bucket list. We were informed ten minutes ago that the good doctor has since kicked the bucket. He was barefoot at the time and the nurse said his foot should take about two weeks to heal. Thanks, Dr. Bela! We will be sending you a check for $7,000 tomorrow. Take care and please buy a plastic bucket to replace your steel one!
Friday, February 6, 2015
Thursday, February 5, 2015
Wednesday, February 4, 2015
Tuesday, February 3, 2015
Monday, February 2, 2015
Sunday, February 1, 2015
Saturday, January 31, 2015
Friday, January 30, 2015
Thursday, January 29, 2015
Wednesday, January 28, 2015
Corky Jokes #2
Tuesday, January 27, 2015
Monday, January 26, 2015
Sunday, January 25, 2015
"Major" Hymn
Whittle was named after American politician Daniel Webster. Whittle reached the rank of major in the American civil war, and for the rest of his life was known as
MajorWhittle. During the war, Whittle lost his right arm, and ended up in a prisoner of war camp. Recovering from his wounds in the hospital, he looked for something to read, and found a New Testament. Though its words resonated with him, he was still not ready to accept Christ. Shortly after, a hospital orderly woke him and said a dying prisoner wanted someone to pray with him. Whittle demurred, but the orderly said,
But I thought you were a Christian; I have seen you reading your Bible.Whittle then agreed to go. He recorded what took place at the dying youth’s bed side:
I dropped on my knees and held the boy’s hand in mine. In a few broken words I confessed my sins and asked Christ to forgive me. I believed right there that He did forgive me. I then prayed earnestly for the boy. He became quiet and pressed my hand as I prayed and pleaded God’s promises. When I arose from my knees, he was dead. A look of peace had come over his troubled face, and I cannot but believe that God who used him to bring me to the Savior, used me to lead him to trust Christ’s precious blood and find pardon. I hope to meet him in heaven.
After the war, Whittle became treasurer of the Elgin Watch Company in Chicago, Illinois. In less than 10 years, though, he entered the evangelism field. During this period, he worked with musicians Phillip Bliss and James McGranahan. His daughterMay Moody also wrote music for some of his lyrics.
Of his decision to devote his life to the Gospel, Whittle said that, while at work, he…went into the vault and in the dead silence of the quietest of places I gave my life to my Heavenly Father to use as He would.
(Notice how Calvinistic the lyrics are to his most famous hymn:)
(Notice how Calvinistic the lyrics are to his most famous hymn:)
I KNOW WHOM I HAVE BELIEVED by Daniel W. Whittle
1. I know not why God's wondrous grace
to me he hath made known,
nor why, unworthy, Christ in love
redeemed me for his own.
(Refrain)
But I know whom I have believed,
and am persuaded that he is able
to keep that which I've committed
unto him against that day.
2. I know not how this saving faith
to me he did impart,
nor how believing in his word
wrought peace within my heart.
(Refrain)
3. I know not how the Spirit moves,
convincing us of sin,
revealing Jesus through the word,
creating faith in him.
(Refrain)
4. I know not when my Lord may come,
at night or noonday fair,
nor if I walk the vale with him,
or meet him in the air.
(Refrain)
Saturday, January 24, 2015
Friday, January 23, 2015
Thursday, January 22, 2015
Wednesday, January 21, 2015
Tuesday, January 20, 2015
Hey! Hey! We're the Arminians!
The above Monkees Theme is the inspiration
for the new Arminian Theme song
written by that famous Arminian composer, Elvis Wesley:
Here we come
Walking down the street
We get the funniest looks from
The Calvin-ists we meet.
Hey, hey we're Arminians,
'Cause we say the sinner's just sick.
And we're too busy giving,
Those tracts made by Jack Chick.
We're just trying to be friendly,
Look at our ear-to-ear smile.
It's a Finney gener-ation,
We'll help you walk that aisle.
Hey, hey you're just wounded,
Not dead like the Calvinists say.
Decide to be-lieve and you're ready,
God will always meet you half-way.
Atheist Devotional Book #9
Not long ago my newest husband asked me to pick up a belated birthday card for his sister. Scanning the rack, I ran across a card with a chimpanzee on the front holding an iPhone in his hand.
This is what it said: "I better not hear...about how upset you are that I missed your birthday. I mean, how do you know I wasn't in a serious car accident and lying in some ditch out in the middle of nowhere?...Well, I may have forgotten your birthday, but I didn't exactly get any phone calls to see if I was okay! All I know is you better have a good excuse why I didn't hear from you on your birthday!"
This was the perfect card. It teaches the great technique of "shifting the blame". A standard mode of operation for all you wise atheists. Christians are like undersea sponges when it comes to the blame game. When they open their mouths, feed 'em blame and shame. It works for me every time.
Good luck and keep looking down (on Christians).
This is what it said: "I better not hear...about how upset you are that I missed your birthday. I mean, how do you know I wasn't in a serious car accident and lying in some ditch out in the middle of nowhere?...Well, I may have forgotten your birthday, but I didn't exactly get any phone calls to see if I was okay! All I know is you better have a good excuse why I didn't hear from you on your birthday!"
This was the perfect card. It teaches the great technique of "shifting the blame". A standard mode of operation for all you wise atheists. Christians are like undersea sponges when it comes to the blame game. When they open their mouths, feed 'em blame and shame. It works for me every time.
Good luck and keep looking down (on Christians).
Monday, January 19, 2015
Man Sees Arminian Crime Committed
Eric Santini, the semi-famous Niagara Falls tightrope walker, told police he thinks he spotted an elderly Arminian woman push an elderly Arminian man over the falls a few days ago while crossing the Falls. (see above) "I'm not positive about it, because at that moment a fine spray of misty water hit me square in the face. The news reports said suicide, but I'm inclined to think otherwise."
Reporters tried to follow Mr. Santini, but he jumped back on the tightrope and took off across the Falls. A few brave newspaper reporters and one tour guide tired to follow. They only made it half way before falling to their deaths.
Mr. Santini has witnessed over twenty-three crimes as a tightrope walker, including a man who followed him across the rope to rob him of his pocket watch.
Police now know that the couple wasn't Arminian and that they were not the couple known as Mr. and Mrs. Nigel Pettibone.
Reporters tried to follow Mr. Santini, but he jumped back on the tightrope and took off across the Falls. A few brave newspaper reporters and one tour guide tired to follow. They only made it half way before falling to their deaths.
Mr. Santini has witnessed over twenty-three crimes as a tightrope walker, including a man who followed him across the rope to rob him of his pocket watch.
Police now know that the couple wasn't Arminian and that they were not the couple known as Mr. and Mrs. Nigel Pettibone.
Sunday, January 18, 2015
Photo from CIA Agent Barry Cade
Our in-house C.I.A. (Calvinists in Action) agent, Barry Cade, sent this photo in just minutes ago. Police were on the scene within an hour questioning Nigel's new wife, Henrietta Pettibone, (formerly Henrietta Borax) as to the alleged suicide of her husband. She told the police that he was suffering from dementia and had been acting strange during the trip. After the interrogation, she was seen at a local IHOP chowing down on a Belgian Waffle Combo.
Saturday, January 17, 2015
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