This is what it said: "I better not hear...about how upset you are that I missed your birthday. I mean, how do you know I wasn't in a serious car accident and lying in some ditch out in the middle of nowhere?...Well, I may have forgotten your birthday, but I didn't exactly get any phone calls to see if I was okay! All I know is you better have a good excuse why I didn't hear from you on your birthday!"
This was the perfect card. It teaches the great technique of "shifting the blame". A standard mode of operation for all you wise atheists. Christians are like undersea sponges when it comes to the blame game. When they open their mouths, feed 'em blame and shame. It works for me every time.
Good luck and keep looking down (on Christians).