Friday, December 11, 2009

Cult Following


  1. Ethel Merman was the late Mormon Prophet Heber J. Grant’s favorite singer and actress of the “Straight, Place or Show.” He especially loved her short, somewhat biographical silver screen, “Strike Me Pink “about her famous row with that Calvinist theologian.
    He wrote and invited her to take a “Journey Back to Oz,” Utah with him and she being somewhat naive decided to “Take a Chance.” After several weeks, It was being reported in the Desseret Gossip Corner that “It has been overheard by an anonymous source close to a certain Miss Merman, “I Get a Kick Out of You” Heber!...It was also whispered that he had replied, “I Got Rhythm” and I can see those “Stars in Your Eyes “could you, “Let Me Call You Sweetheart?”
    Well, “There's No Business Like Show Business” but not “Everything's Coming Up Roses” in Old Zion! You see this had not been the first “Girl Crazy” groupie after the Elder Grant. Many a young lady had to “Follow the Leader” in this “Anything Goes” court of the Prophet! When the elder’s first wife came into his royal harem she cried aloud, “Hello, Dolly!” and Sister, “Annie Get Your Gun” we’re going to do some “Happy Hunting” for yet another “Gypsy” wants to, “Call Me Madam” Grant. So Sister Dolly, and Sister Emma, and Sister Annie, and the others later burst through the “Stage Door Canteen” where Ethel was singing “Something for the Boys” in a vaudeville show with “Alexander's Ragtime Band” and the Baklava Koo Koos, “I Get A Kick Out Of You!"
    They even interrupted the Salt Lake City’s Radio Music Hall’s producers Richard Rodgers, Oscar Hammerstein, and Irving Berlin’s “Ford 50th Anniversary Show” in the middle of “The Big Broadcast of 1936” to their “Kid Millions“ with news of Prophet Grant wives’ rebellious “We're Not Dressing” for the Prophet’s “It's a Mad, Mad, Mad, Mad World!” in Kohlob unless potential Sister Ethel is sent packing.
    So now you know the sad beginnings of the Church of Mezzo-soprano Saints that broke from the Mother Church. Followers were later derisively called the “Ethel Mormons” and Merman was very secretive and only conducting meetings in their “Hall of Cracked Mirrors” and became especially suspicious of Desseret reporters and photographers as you see in the photo above.

  2. You win the most lengthy comment award on Calvinistic Cartoons...ever!


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