Just had my yearly checkup at the Green Cross... Turns out I'm colorblind!!
I was playing my air guitar and accidentally woke up a mime.
Balloon animal stew tastes like rubber chicken.
Cereal is like pet food for humans.
If you wake up feeling funny, you should call in shtick.
I think my computer has a virus. Pretty sure it's about to toss it's cookies.
To err is hunam.
I remember that Paul McCartney song like it was Yesterday.
That awkward moment when a Zombie is looking for brains and it walks right past you.
I may not be the smartest guy in the room, but I’m not the best looking either. Not sure where I was going with this.
All my friends keep telling me to never succumb to peer pressure. So I'm going to take their advice and not listen to them.