My bucket list: 4 drumsticks, 2 thighs, 2 mashed potatoes with gravy, and 2 biscuits. Extra crispy… to go.
I have some jokes about unemployment but they need some work.
The only normal people are the ones you don't know very well.
One day I would like to hit the refresh button and actually feel refreshed.
The days of good grammar has went.
I hate being left out almost as much as I hate being included.
I used to like the mirror that I had in 2002 much more than the one I have now.
Life is the original limited-time offer
Turns out company doesn't love misery.
Do mimes observe a brief moment of talking when a fellow mime passes away?
Found some chips in the bag of air I just bought.
It appears someone invited a lot of old people to my high school reunion.