Benny Finney's 7 Things Challenge

Dear Readers,
I know you are used to the Arminian Antics blog being published at this time period but, Benny Finney did not post his blog this week. I did happen to find this article by Benny in the latest issue of Arminianism Weakly. Hope you enjoy it. So for your consideration, here is Mr. Benny Finney, in his own words:

 After much prompting from two imaginary deacons and my humongous load of fan mail, I have decided to take up the seven things challenge. I am supposed to list seven facts about my life that are known by angels and some of the staff at Arminian Antics. All of this is real...so here goes:

1. I have a scar on my left foot shaped like the Mona Lisa. When I was 9 years old I was playing baseball, barefoot, with neighborhood kids on the south side of Potato Head, Idaho. I jumped a ditch to retrieve the ball and landed on a broken Pepsi bottle. I didn't even know what had happened until I looked back and saw all the blood on the street. My Uncle Remo rushed me to the hospital where I was treated by a quack doctor. My scar was the subject of laughter in the military when I pointed out that the Mona Lisa has no eyebrows.

2. Larry Storch once performed a skit I suggested. Before I was married, I hitch-hiked to Hollywood and attended the Jerry Stiller show (Hey...it was free!), whose co-host that week was Larry Storch. Prior to the show, the staff handed out index cards to the audience. We were to write an idea for Larry to improvise. I wrote my idea and also taped a five on the side. Jerry Stiller picked out about five skits, mine being the last and Mr. Storch did a full ten minutes using my suggestion. The idea was simply he being a stranded ice cream man in a warehouse freezer.

3. I have a combination of Trypanophobia and Arachnophobia. That is the extreme fear of medical procedures involving injections given to spiders. 

4. I was not always an Arminian, but I was always given the choice to be one.

5. One of my ancestors was hanged for impersonating Abraham Lincoln. I don't know the entire story but I suspect she took advantage of several townsfolk.

6. I am related to the actor, Nancy Walker.

7. I used to shoplift when I was a teen, until I was scared straight after getting caught walking out of a store with a bundle of Chick tracts. They found several items I stole from the Happy-Go-Lucky Arminian Books and Trinkets Emporium and threatened me with life at the Oral Roberts University. They let me go without even informing my parents. I rode my bicycle  home praying all the way that my mother would never find out. She never did.

The Hounds of an Arminian Master

Real Records You May Have Missed #41

Primitive way of counting if you ask me.

Prosperity Gospel?

Received an email from Gary Waters with the above photo.

He wondered if this pastor lived up to his name.

Strange Eschatology

An Interview with the Reverend Gucci Hummina

A small section from last weeks radio program, "Utter Prophecies":

Reverend Gucci, would you please explain to our listeners, your view of the rapture?

Well, I believe there will be a "partial" rapture. Not the partial rapture that has been touted by those who misread prophecy...y'know...some believers left behind and some taken in advance. No sir, that's just stupid. I'm of the belief that EVERY believer will be partially raptured in a twinkling of an eye.

Would you please explain what you mean?

Well, I am trying to...but, you keep interrupting me. By the way, you won't be in that number monkey man.

Y'see, "partial" means "partial", and that's all it means. When the trumpet blows...and fyi...that tune will be "Shall We Gather at the River"...Christians will have their feet taken to Heaven, first. Then, their legs, hands, arms, torso and finally, their heads. It won't be gory or bloody or anything like that, mind you, it'll be beautiful. 

That's sound completely insane if you ask me!

Well, city boy, nobody asked you! You don't get it because you are ignorant of hidden messages. It's actually a message in itself! Our feet do the walking. Our feet has carried us into sin and into church. Our feet take us where we want to go. It's been that way all our lives. So our feet go first, leaving us on our backs so we can see the Rapture unfold. 

What about those who are left? Won't they see these weird amputations occurring? 

Not at all. Y'see...time will stop for unbelievers. We will see this happen...it will last for more than an hour...but, for lost dudes, like yourself, it will all happen in a microsecond. 

How many Christians believe this? Can you back up your claims with Scripture?

Whoever reads my book, "Defeeted at the Rapture", will see the truth and will join our movement. We now have, at least, forty two, who have joined our Facebook page...and, yes, of course I can back up my claims with Scripture!.....

Well?

Well what! I don't owe you an explanation. Read my book! It's all there! Anyway, I have an appointment with Toni and Guy. I will be appearing on TBN tonight as an honored guest speaker. I tag-team preach with Jan Crouch...I just hope she doesn't interrupt me as much as you do. I'm outta here!

The First Large Print Bible

Deacons Rule

Facets of Grace: Something a Little Different

Facets of Grace: Something a Little Different: This is a song I wrote a few years back to the tune of Stevie Ray Vaughan's "Caught in the Crossfire". At the end of this song is a link to ...

Calvinists - You Should Love This!

Click on this:

Two "P's" in a Pod

Arminian Antics #67

Strange Facts about Christian Leaders #5

 

1.  John Bunyan had 26 bones in each foot! That's a total of 52 bones in his feet! Amazing feat!

2.  Oliver Cromwell's sneeze would rocket out of his body at close to 100 mph!

3.  William Wilberforce's eyes were always the same size from birth to death. During his lifetime, his nose and ears never stopped growing!

4.  John and Charles Wesley would shed and regrow outer skin cells about every 27 days!

5.  J. C. Ryle, as hard as he tried, could not tickle himself.
 
6.  George Whitefield was born with 300 bones, but by adulthood the number was reduced to 206.

7.  C. S. Lewis's left lung was smaller than his right lung.

8.  Count Zinzendorf's fingernails grew nearly 4 times faster than his toenails.

9.  Charles Haddon Spurgeon was born without knee caps. They didn't appear until he was between 2-6 years of age!

10.  Every year, during his lifetime, about 98% of the atoms in John Calvin's body were replaced!

Guess Who #26

Here are your clues:

I was an Augustinian monk.

I wrote one of the most published books of all time.

I was mistakenly buried alive.

(He was denied canonization as a saint because when his body was dug up splinters were found embedded under his fingernails.  The canonization authorities determined that a true saint wouldn’t fight death in such a manner.) 

Note: Evangelical Christians know that every born-again believer is a saint. We don't need to be "knighted by the proper authorities" to become a saint. We also don't pray to saints in Heaven. Saints alive! That's a small piece of why the Reformation was launched.) 

Strange Facts about Christian Leaders #4

1.  David Steele and Curtis Thomas were both born when Halley's Comet came into view in 1835. When they died in 1910, Halley's Comet was in view again...wait a second...sorry, that was Mark Twain.

2.  Mark Driscoll's home is free of badgers.

3.  Tim Keller once thought about ordering personalized license plates but later changed his mind.

4.  R. C. Sproul has never been bitten by the deadly Brazilian wandering spider.

5.  C. J. Mahaney walked out of his home one day and didn't come back until after dark.

6.  Many years ago, Steve Lawson escaped injury when his vehicle knocked over his garbage can while backing out of his driveway.

7.  Cornelius Van Til, in his prime, could probably whip R. J. Rushdoony with one hand tied behind his back.


8.  John Frame is also a classically trained musician and a critic of film, music, and chocolate Easter bunnies.

9.  Abraham Kuyper, in his early years, would mark on walls with crayons.

10.  Louis Berkhof has never bought plastic flamingos in the United States OR in Canada!

Strange Facts about Christian Leaders #3

 

1.  When Carl F. H. Henry would jitterbug in front of his relatives, they would often comment that he looked like a frog in a blender.

2.  John L. Dagg was the world's tallest Baptist theologian. He came in at 18 feet 7 inches.

3.  Albert Mohler, Jr. has created enough saliva in his lifetime to fill a plastic swimming pool!

4.  Once, Wayne Grudem, in his early twenties, did not fill out a bank deposit slip correctly.

5.  John Gill never saw the Titanic, much less step foot on board.

6.  James Petigru Boyce, when a teen,  suffered from an upset stomach after eating too much ice cream and cake.

7.  John F. MacArthur laughs longer, louder, and more often than his brother-in-law.

8.  Charles Spurgeon once ate a bug by mistake. He never knew what happened. His oatmeal just tasted funny.

9.  John Piper blinks over 10,000,000 times a year!

10.  John Calvin never used MasterCard or Visa. He would always pay cash.

Guess Who #25

A few clues for you to use:

This male actor's real name was Whipple. The name Whipple was given in honor of an ancestor on his father's side, William Whipple of New Hampshire, who had co-signed the Declaration of Independence. 
He graduated from Lamar High School in Houston, Texas, in 1949, and went on to attend Blinn Junior College on a football scholarship. Having been raised in a devout Christian home, he studied one semester at Dallas Bible Institute before joining the Army. 
He rejected several film offers because the scripts contained unnecessary foul language, exploited sex, or gruesome violence and he settled down to a family life. He finally chose to put the film industry behind him and joined the ministry under Chuck Smith's Calvary Chapel. 

 

Words to Reckon With

Arminian Antics #66

Classics #35

Seven Personal Things Challenge

After much prompting from two imaginary friends and my inner child, I have decided to take up the seven things challenge. I am supposed to list seven facts about my life that are usually not proclaimed upon the rooftops. All of this is real...so here goes:

1. I have a scar on my left foot shaped like the United States of America. When I was 10 years old I was playing baseball, barefoot, with neighborhood kids on the north side of Houston. I jumped a ditch to retrieve the ball and landed on a broken Coke bottle. I didn't even know what had happened until I looked back and saw all the blood on the street. My Aunt Ruby rushed me to the hospital where I was tortured by a kind doctor. My scar was the subject of laughter in the military when I pointed out Florida, New York State and the California coast line.

2. Richard Pryor once performed a skit I suggested. Before I was married, I hitch-hiked to Hollywood and attended the Pat Boone show (Hey...it was free!), whose co-host that week was Richard Pryor. Prior to the show, the staff handed out index cards to the audience. We were to write an idea for Richard to improvise. I wrote my idea and also drew a cartoon on the side. Pat Boone picked out about five skits, mine being the last and Mr. Pryor did a full ten minutes using my suggestion. The idea was simply he being a stranded photographer in Africa.

3. I have Trypanophobia. That is the extreme fear of medical procedures involving injections or hypodermic needles. I can't even watch an injection on TV or a movie.

4. I was not always a Calvinist, but I was always predestined to be one.

5. One of my ancestors was hanged for impersonating Ulysses S. Grant. I don't know the entire story but I suspect he took advantage of several townsfolk.

6. I am related to the actor, Clint Walker.

7. I used to shoplift when I was a teen, until I was scared straight after getting caught walking out of a store with a "Mad-Libs" book. They found several items I stole from Fed-Mart (mostly 8mm films) and threatened me with life in prison. They let me go without even informing my parents. I rode my bicycle  home praying all the way that my mother would never find out. I later confessed. Much later.

September Calendar 2011