Wednesday, October 5, 2011

Just for Laughs #181

Create a funny, theological-related caption...that's an order.


  1. Smiley: Hey, Babe, why don't you press your two lips against mine?

    Waitress: Listen, bub, the only two lips you're gonna get are two big fat ones, see!

    Friend: Hokey-smokes and I thought this was a calvinist restaurant. Sorry, Jacobus, we'd better split!

    Smiley: I think you're right, Snellius. Let's get outta here!

  2. Most the guys get the Wof, but I prefer the Fos. It's always fresh.


    Yeah, you know: love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, self-control. Without the codeslaw.

  3. Hi, I'm Perry Noble - perhaps you've heard of me. Hows the steak around here?

  4. I totally beat the new CG Spurgeon game, but my friend here won't believe me.

  5. She was shocked to see a man who looked like the young Loraine Boettner.

  6. Garry North (right) was shocked when his best friend, Michael Henderson, whipped out a Calvinist pick-up line.

    "Hey, baby - so your name is Grace. Doesn't surprise me, because you're irresistible!"

  7. Life would be so much easier for waitress Christina Calvin if the Armenians would only decide if they wanted the Charismatic Cauliflower or thye Spurgeon Steak.

  8. Waitress: Here at Cafe Arminius, we have the 'all' you can eat buffet where you can 'choose' what you want with an 'unlimited' dessert bar. May I take your order?

    Customer: Did anyone ever tell you that you're the most beautiful waitress in the whole 'world'?

  9. "We got ham on rye, roast beef on a kaiser roll and Spurgeon on an English muffin. What'll it be?"

  10. Some good stuff here. :-D

    @Chris Hensley: Nice!!! :-P

  11. Waitress: "What'll it be?"

    Smiley: "How 'bout a kiss, sweetie?"

    Waitress: "Not on your life!"

    Smiley: "But it was predestined!"

    Waitress: "How 'bout my fist in your eye? Is that predestined, too?"

  12. Waitress: "Before you order, I should warn you that we're runnin' behind today."

    Smiley: "How so?"

    Waitress: "The cook walked out on us. Says he'll be back later tonight. The janitors are workin' in the kitchen now, but their rather - shall we say - inept."

    Smiley: "You mean to tell me the cook can just disappear on a whim whenever he wants to? That's ridiculous! He oughta be fired!"

    Waitress: "Oh, no! Doesn't work like that. We here at Fickle Finney Food are firm believers in individual free will, which means we decide when we wanna work and when we wanna stop. It's all up to us. Heck, I'm not even sure I wanna take your order, bub."

  13. @Corey: Nice. :-P

    Waitress: "You can order whatever you want, but the cook has already predestined what you'll be eating."

  14. "Today's combo is Better-than-birthright lentil soup with Nebuchadnezzar's field greens salad. We were supposed to have John-the-Baptist honey pudding, but some of the ingredients hopped away."

  15. Patron: I'll have a slice of that rapturous raspberry pie.

    Waitress: Sorry, bub, but we aint't had none o dat aroun ere since AD70...

  16. "Yes sir, Genevieve is really my name; and No, I've never heard of anyone named John Calvin. What are you getting at?"

  17. Ahhhhh, truthinator!!! ...................
    Never mind.

  18. Waitress: so what will are you boys predestined to order today?

    Smiling guy: I just look at you and it brings out my total depravity.

    Other guy: Is this gal really a guy?

  19. Here's a better effort, Stranger:

    Patron: Hi doll. I'll have some of that rapturous raspberry pie.

    Blond Waitress: I don't believe in the rapture...I'm a Milli Vanillianist.

  20. Mr. Secular (left) [British accent]: I'll choose the spam, eggs, bacon, and spam.

    Waitress [American accent]: I'm sorry, sir, we're all out of spam

    Mr. Calvinist [British accent]: I'm predestined to have the spam, eggs, spam, bacon, spam, sausage, spam, and spam.

    Waitress: Certainly, sir

    Mr. Secular: Uh, I'm ... predestined .. to have the spam, eggs, bacon, and spam.

    Waitress: Certainly, sir [she leaves]

    Mr. Secular: Just a matter of understandinging the local dialect, eh?

    Mr. Calvinist: No, I'm a Calvinist. I'm also predestined to use Calvinist terminology if I want to eat around here.

    Sorry :).

  21. @truthinator

    Your second effort leaves me kind of speechless too. Speechless, but laughing.

  22. I'm sorry, sir, but we are *all* out of Eggs Benedict XVI.

  23. Having spent the day watching VeggieTales with his kids Deacon Dean couldn't help but order the bunny, hold the soup and bread please.


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