When the quest for relevance at Emergent Assembly led to using mugs of coffee in the place of grape juice during communion, Arlo started wondering if perhaps his Calvinist friends had good grounds for leaving.
"Upon finishing his cup of coffee, Arlo noticed the words "God is Sovereign. You're Not" on the bottom inside of said cup. Putting two and two together, with this and the Romans nine grenade on the mug, he perceived that the chap who bought him the cup was obviously a Calvinist."
@Mates: Love 'em! @Stranger: Yes sir, sounds like a good plan. @Brother Eddie: "Joel, I have to admit...I spewed Pepto-Bismol all over the Macchiato covered monitor screen after reading your caption.
Maybe I should just drink a lot of water so I can help clean this mess up next time I read a comment." That must be a tough monitor, sir.
Hmmm, someone has been drinking from my cup of Starbucks' Iced Caramel Macchiato. Those totally depraved Cartoonists can't go two days without a drink.
At Bible School Arlo had been taught about "context". But what exactly was the "context" of Gloria Jeans (AoG/Hillsong) coffee in a Corky/Romans 9 mug?
"Knowing everything happens by chance and that there is no absolute truth (he's absolutely sure about that), Arlo hopes that more coffee will suddenly appear in his empty cup."
"Upon losing the game Konkey Dong Versus Dr. J.A.*, Arlo the inconsistent Arminian, in a state of shock and horror, stares into the dark abyss of his empty coffee mug."
“It leads to trifling away time from evangelism, scalds your chops, and spending your money, all for a little base, black, thick, nasty, bitter, stinking nauseous puddle of water.”
If you put a coffee cup to your ear and listen closely you may hear the self righteous circular arguments of Rob Bell and Brian McLaren. Joe did not know it only works with cups used to drink emergent blends.
Rejecting creeds, confessions, and statements of faith as unspiritual , Arlo interprets Scripture by reading coffee grounds.
ReplyDeleteOkay, stranger, you caused me to spew a Starbucks Iced Caramel Macchiato all over my monitor...and I haven't had anything to drink in two days!
ReplyDelete@stranger.strange.land: Bwhahahahahahaha!
ReplyDeletethe Ink Slinger
www.inkslingerblog.wordpress.com
When the quest for relevance at Emergent Assembly led to using mugs of coffee in the place of grape juice during communion, Arlo started wondering if perhaps his Calvinist friends had good grounds for leaving.
ReplyDelete"Upon finishing his cup of coffee, Arlo noticed the words "God is Sovereign. You're Not" on the bottom inside of said cup. Putting two and two together, with this and the Romans nine grenade on the mug, he perceived that the chap who bought him the cup was obviously a Calvinist."
ReplyDeleteGood one THEOparadox!
ReplyDeleteJoel, I have to admit...I spewed Pepto-Bismol all over the Macchiato covered monitor screen after reading your caption.
Maybe I should just drink a lot of water so I can help clean this mess up next time I read a comment.
Joel,
ReplyDeleteMaybe you and I should chip in to buy Eddie a monitor-mounted windshield wiper. ?
TheOparadox
hahahahahahahaha
" good grounds for leaving."
It takes someone with a lot of finesse to pull off a pun like that. And brother, you've got it : D Good one!
@Mates: Love 'em!
ReplyDelete@Stranger: Yes sir, sounds like a good plan.
@Brother Eddie: "Joel, I have to admit...I spewed Pepto-Bismol all over the Macchiato covered monitor screen after reading your caption.
Maybe I should just drink a lot of water so I can help clean this mess up next time I read a comment."
That must be a tough monitor, sir.
Hmmm, someone has been drinking from my cup of Starbucks' Iced Caramel Macchiato. Those totally depraved Cartoonists can't go two days without a drink.
ReplyDeleteArlo the Arminian was quite puzzled by his Calvinist father-in-law's strange gift. In the bottom is has a picture of Martin Luther!
ReplyDeleteAt Bible School Arlo had been taught about "context". But what exactly was the "context" of Gloria Jeans (AoG/Hillsong) coffee in a Corky/Romans 9 mug?
ReplyDelete@ Fake Coke Can and Michael: Hahaha! Awesome captions, guys!
ReplyDelete"Corky, I know you're in there... get out of my coffee."
ReplyDeleteTo further illustrate his abhorrence of the Caffeinated Calvinist network, Arlo vowed to drink only decaf from then on.
ReplyDelete"Knowing everything happens by chance and that there is no absolute truth (he's absolutely sure about that), Arlo hopes that more coffee will suddenly appear in his empty cup."
ReplyDelete"Upon losing the game Konkey Dong Versus Dr. J.A.*, Arlo the inconsistent Arminian, in a state of shock and horror, stares into the dark abyss of his empty coffee mug."
ReplyDelete* Wait for it (pronounced, 'jah').
@Inkslinger: "Corky, I know you're in there... get out of my coffee."
ReplyDeleteHahahahaha!
Arlo was unsure what to do when he heard that Keurig was offering a line of Calvinistic coffees.
ReplyDeleteLot of good captions here. Enough so we'll probably have to buy Mr. Eddings a new monitor.
ReplyDelete@Michael: Yeah, it sounds as if Eddie's monitor has seen better days.
ReplyDeletePerhaps we could find a plastic shield for it.
ReplyDeleteDepending on the force of Eddie's spewing, plexiglass might be a better alternative. :)
ReplyDeleteArlo wonders, for only a split second, if he really chose to take a sip or not. Then he wondered what was in that coffee.
ReplyDelete@Jim Pemberton: That mighta done it. That was great.
ReplyDeleteArlo’s Rant Against Calvinist Coffee:
ReplyDelete“It leads to trifling away time from evangelism, scalds your chops, and spending your money, all for a little base, black, thick, nasty, bitter, stinking nauseous puddle of water.”
If you put a coffee cup to your ear and listen closely you may hear the self righteous circular arguments of Rob Bell and Brian McLaren. Joe did not know it only works with cups used to drink emergent blends.
ReplyDeleteArlo staggers to the sink and takes one last peek into the cup of reeling. "Serves 'em right those dirty sons-a-...!"
ReplyDelete