"Hey, ma'am, do you mind if we borrow your John Gill's commentary on Romans?"
"Did you hear about Harold Camping's new prediction? I can't wait for October to come around. Which reminds me, are you ready?"
Woman: "Boy, you Mormons sure are updating your outfits."
Female Bicyclist: "Look at that, dear: an "Arminians-Only" trailer park. What next?"
It became popular for Christian households to erect fences around their yards in order to prevent unwanted Mormon evangelists from trespassing.
"Hello, new family! We're the Arminian welcoming committee! We're so glad you've chosen to move into the neighborhood, so we just decided to come over and say hello! Do you choose to have a swell conversation with us? We hope you choose to say yes!"
Male Bicyclist: "The end is near, I tell you! At least, we think it is..."
Michael wrote, ""Boy, you Mormons sure are updating your outfits."Good one!
Yes, have you seen two men on bicycles in this area? We were chasing them and lost them a half-mile ago. We offered tp give them a tract and tell them about Jesus when they just took off. Those Mormons sure know how to pedal a bike.
by the way...I just noticed something...All the comments on this blog are among the elect! I know this because everytime I leave a comment, a message tells me that "you comment has been saved."Wonderful news!
@Spherical: Nice catch. :D
@Spherical: Elect comments...nice. :-)
"We're here to invite you to goldfish Sunday at Free Grace Not Historic Baptist But New Baptist Church! Do you know God loves you and has a wonderful plan for your life?
Another elect comment!
Harold's new camping site was the center of attention and he just couldn't figure out why.
Man, seated: "Did you know Jesus is coming on October 21? Are you ready for the end of the world?"Man on bike: "Did you know you live in 'Tornado Alley' in a mobile home? Your world could end this week."
Man on bike: "Did you know Eddie Eddings has a blog called 'Calvinistic Cartoons'? And on that blog he has a list of the top 40 commentators?"Man in chair: "Yeah, I knew that. I quite commenting 'cuz I could never trust that the count was accurate. Besides, that Wright guy jumps on the very next second Eddings posts something and makes about 10-12 comments. Sheesh! No wonder he's at the top of the list. What's he do, just sit in front of his computer and stare at Calvinistic Cartoons all day?"
Man on bike: "Hey, if you're livin' here in the Calvinistic Campground, then why don't you have tulips planted around the place?"
"No, no. We are from Campus Crusade for Christ, and we just want to tell you that God loves you, and has a wonderful plan for your life."
Hands down......Mr. Sorenson's first comment gets my vote! HA! Those Harold Camping jokes never get old. :D In fact, they are very elect!
Woman on bike: "Look honey, a pink and white mobile home with an umbrella chair, is this the millenium?"
Chris Hensley said...Woman on bike: "Look honey, a pink and white mobile home with an umbrella chair, is this the millenium?""No, Dear. It means we are in a time-warp and have been transported back to 1956.""So, what do we do?""I'll try to figure that out later. Right now, I am going to place a bet on the Yankees to win the World Series."
Hi neighbor we just wanted to welcome you to the Hal Lindsay apocalyptic end of the world resort. Later we can take you over and show you the Joel Osteen “your best fun now” amusement park.
My comment isn't elect, see, it chose to be saved! Haha! Free-destination everybody!
Man on bike:"Honey, it looks like Richard Dawkins Zoological Park opened a new exhibit - Evangelicals in their natural habitat."
You win, Persis. :)
Al and Mary Mohler stop by to chat with June and Ward Cleaver minus the Beaver.What are you reading Ward? Just a article on Infralapsarianism nothing much.June I love that yellow dress... but it's 98 today in Louisville.Really Cleavers you gotta lighten up!
I'm with Inkslinger, I think Persis has this one in the bag.
@ PersisThey have another display where the man is in church wearing a leisure suit.
Thats right, alls we did was convert to Mormonism and they gave us these great new bikes! Oh, and when we die, A NEW PLANET!!
@Craig:Eeeuwwwww. That brings back childhood memories of seeing sky blue textured polyester leisure suits with white top-stitching, complete with white patent leather loafers and dark socks.
@Chris Hensley:Hey brother! Long time no see!Please keep up the comments and stay in touch....I taught Chris many (many) years ago at Central Baptist Church in Mabank, Texas, where his father was pastor.
Unable to pass by one another peacefully, the bicycle-riding, Calvinist Greens and the relaxing-at-home, Arminian Tuckers entered into a vicious staring contest, where blinkers are LOSERS!
Joel, I have to admit, that cracked me up so much I had to repair my space helmet with super glue.
@Joel: Haha! That'd be a staring contest to witness.
I would ask, when my Arminian opponent blinked, if his blink was voluntary or involuntary! Come to think of it, staring contests might be the perfect proof of Calvinism. The next time I meet an antagonistic Arminian, I'm going to suggest we have a staring contest rather than the usual worn out debate . . .
@THEOparadox: That would be a tactic I'd have to see in action.
We would love to invite you in, but as you can see by the fence we have set it apart, sanctified it if you will, to be an Arminian Only refuge. It is our choice you know. You can elect yourself to give up on that Calvinism and trust in your own judgment and join us for tea if you'd like.