Arminian Antics #98

Nigel Pettibone in Sandstorm

Nigel Pettibone was photographed as he runs for cover during a Kuwait sandstorm. $7,000 goes to Lin Ye Tang for emailing me this photo and for successfully planting a tracking device on Mr. Pettibone's cane. Good work, Lin Ye!

Doc Spurgeon

Short Story Challenge for Writers

I need a short short story, prose or poem using this illustration as the subject. Yes, that is me behind the helmet and Corky Velveeta in the landscape (...or is it?). The story chosen will be written in the white space within the illustration. The black space will hold the title and author's name. I can increase the white space for the copy but don't make it too long. Creativity, brevity and impact are the key ingredients. The winning story will be published separately on May 30, 2012. Thanks everyone, and have fun!

The winner will have an asteroid in the Pinwheel Galaxy named after them!

The runners up will have half an asteroid named after them from the Howdy Doody Galaxy!

The absolute worst story (which we will never mention) will have a cubic inch of space given to them from the Garbage Dump Galaxy in sector 873!

The Masked Arminian Pastor #19

Just for Laughs #214

We need a caption...quick!

And the Winner is...

On April 30th, 2012, we ran the Arminian Connection Contest and had no takers and hence, no winners. Today, we are having no contest at all...and the winner is...Judson T. Sebago of Pioche, Nevada. Congratulations, Jud! You have just won all the items pictured above! They will be delivered to your doorstep within 3 working days! Enjoy!

Fan Photo from Shanaynay Jones

This photo arrived today from Shanaynay Jones. The Goober twins are at it again. They claim to be "Evandalists". Note the red letters on the sign. It appears Bob and Rob are traveling through Oklahoma at the present. Please continue to send in photos of these two if you spot them. We will use them as evidence if they are ever arrested. They are slippery as a seal covered with Oil of Olay.

Avengers Panel

Find the Easter Eggs Contest

Easter eggs are things that aren't in the original picture. They are carefully, or not so carefully, hidden right before your eyes. How many "eggs" are there in this photo? I'm not tellin'. As a bonus question, tell me from what movie this scene came from. Of course, as always, enlarging the picture will help a lot. Oh yeah, the first to get all the "eggs" wins a free Starbucks cup of coffee (your choice) at any Kuwait Starbucks at the Avenues Mall in Kuwait. The Avenues has eight Starbucks so far. All you have to do is fly here and collect your prize! It's just that simple!

Live for Him

Nigel Closing In

This photo was taken last night, near the water towers, close to my home in Kuwait. The photographer, Hamad  Hamoud, is recovering from a cane smack to the noggin.  

Arminian Antics #97

Nightmare Ad

More Evandalism Reported

Bob and Rob Goober have been spotted again writing "Romans 9" with spray paint. This time it's the Okee Doakee Opera House in Omama, Ohio. This is just wrong. Corky would never use "evandalism" to spread the Gospel. If you can possibly find out what church the Goober twins attend, let me know. These guys need to spend some time in the slammer.

Sign for the Times

The Love Grenade

Just Do It

Just for Laughs #213

Can you think of a theological caption?

The Masked Arminian Pastor #18

Special Surprise Winners

This contest was for the Calvinistic Cartoons follower who has the most children. Lo and behold, our research team found two mothers who tied for first place. Congratulations to Lily Pondue and Mia Tobogen, who each gave birth to sixteen kids! You both have won two thousand books of your choice. The catalog should be on your doorstep after you read this post. Just check off the books you want and within a week every single volume will be "delivered" to your home! Thanks for playing! 

Mother's Day

Arminian Antics #96

The Angry Birds Hymnal

Thanks to The Blainemonster for this great idea!

A Letter from Placebo Belkins

This package came in from the U.S. yesterday from a Dr. Placebo Belkins. Included in the envelope were some DVD's of Belkins lecturing at Yale. (not the university - the Yale Lock and Hardware Company) Here is part of the three page letter sent:

Dear Mr. Eddings,

I hope this letter finds you in good health. I am interested in becoming a writer for your blog. As you can see by the printed copies of my certifications, I am more than qualified to direct your funny little blog into a more focused theological one. I hear you are leaving for the States this summer. I would like to suggest you hire me for the three months in which you'll be traveling. I happen to know you will be visiting Houston, Dallas, Durango and London, England.

I am willing to work for half my normal fee of $200 a day. I promise more readers, more followers, more comments, more pizzazz and more solid content. It's easy to see your days are numbered. You can't keep this up forever. Take a mental vacation and let me take over the writing for the months of June, July and August. You won't be sorry.

Waiting for your response,

Dr. Placebo Belkins

P.S. There is no tracking device in this envelope.

When I finished reading the letter, I began to put everything back in the large envelope. That's when I noticed...inside the package - glued to the bottom - was a tracking device with the initials N.P. written on the top. The only N.P. I know of, besides Natalie Portman, is Nigel Pettibone! This was a trap! I have destroyed the package and it's contents. Hope it wasn't too late.

  

The Angry Bird Church Building

Corky and Eddie visit the Angry Bird church of Nickelodeon, North Dakota

Ad of the Month

Avengers Background

Watch for this scene if you see the movie...

and note who is in the window of the building in the background.

Feel free to use this as a unnumbered Just for Laughs

and provide a caption or two.

Surprise Move

In a surprise move, last night, Nigel Pettibone was seen diving from an aircraft not too far from the Calvinistic Cartoons Secret Headquarters in Kuwait. Nigel was overheard telling someone that he was on a "mission of extreme gravity". As he jumped, he yelled, "Remember the bombing of Pearl Bailey!" No one has seen him since.

Worthy Destination

Beware the Goober Twins

Bob and Rob Goober, members of the Arminian Church of Armenia, Texas, have decided to give Calvinistic Cartoons legend, Corky Velveeta, a bad name. They visit locations and "e-vandal-ize" public property. Last report we heard, some gentleman approached Rob and, thinking he was Corky, said "Cotton Adams was a Calvinist". Corky, in return, gives $7,000 to that person, but Rob grabbed the man's wallet and rolled down an embankment to an awaiting car driven by Bob Goober. If you spot these two evil twins please contact me so we can keep track of these two asinine Arminians.

Church Visitation

Corky Velveeta and I decided to visit the Grace to Y'all Church Near Two Active Volcanoes yesterday, but they were closed for repairs. Pastor Rowan Keemah told us it would be next Ash Wednesday before the building would be ready for service.

To Kidnap Corky

A Message to Goat Ropers

Thanks to Helen for posting this quote in the comment section last month!

Just One More Thing...

One of the books I am reading on my Kindle, at the present, is Tactics by Gregory Koukl. According to my Kindle, I am only 33% through the book. But, I have to inform you that this is a must read for all you Calvinists whose "Good Cop - Bad Cop" methods of communicating the truth have ended in failure. Greg will transform your thinking - Colombo style.  Here are two reviews that should convince you: Apologetics 315 review and the Tim Challies review. Do yourself a big favor and order this book! You'll thank me for it...oh, and just one more thing... you wouldn't happen to know where I left my Kindle would you?  

Arminian Antics #95

Spurgeon's House Guest

A Bakala in Kuwait

This is the inside of a bakala in Kuwait. These are mini-markets or stores that are found everywhere. I have five within walking distance. The teacher building I live in is in between two bakalas. People drive up and honk their horns for service. They will deliver to your apartment. Below, Nigel Pettibone is seen leaving a bakala in Salmiya...very close to my home. No one has my address, but he knows I live in Salmiya. I guess I'll be on the lookout from this time on. 

Corky and the Nematode Worm

Another one of Ray Palmer's great photographs. This time Corky is posing next to a Nematode worm. Watch out, Corky! Don't let one of those "sticky tongues" grab you!

The Masked Arminian Pastor #17

Mental EEL-ness

Eels Always Look Like They Just Told A Joke

And Are Waiting For A Reaction

(found on Facebook - made me laugh)


The Incredible Answer to Arminian Connection Contest

The screenplay was written by Charles Beaumont. It was based on the novel, "The Circus of Dr. Lao" by Charles G. Finney (December 1, 1905 – April 16, 1984) an American fantasy novelist and newspaperman. His full name was Charles Grandison Finney, evidently after his great-grandfather, the evangelist Charles Grandison Finney. His first novel and most famous work, The Circus of Dr. Lao won one of the inaugural National Book Awards: the Most Original Book of 1935.

The Fudd Connection

Starbucks Ruckus

Nigel Pettibone seen here leaving a Starbuck's in Salmiya, Kuwait. He was told to leave after a commotion was started over the Coffee of the Day. It seems Mr. Pettibone refused to pay for a Cinnamon flavored Mocha Blend because he thought they were calling him "Sinner man". He's a little hard of hearing, y'know.

Corky and the Water Bears

Corky was spotted by micro-marine biologist, Flavius Boone, playing with a couple of water bears yesterday. Tardigrades, also known as water bears or moss piglets, are able to survive in extreme environments that would kill almost any other animal. Some can survive temperatures of close to absolute zero and temperatures as high as 151 °C (304 °F), 1,000 times more radiation than other animals, and almost a decade without water. Since 2007, tardigrades have also returned alive from studies in which they have been exposed to the vacuum of outer space for a few days in low earth orbit. These two Corky named Benny and Elvis (after the Arminian Antics team). 

May 2012

Arminian Connection Contest

See if you can solve the mystery.

A history you probably weren't aware of...

even if you were a full-blown Arminian.

There is an Arminian connection...

the detection might change your complexion!

So dig a little deeper and you'll find

info that will blow your mind!
Who will be the first to solve this?

Stylin'

This is actually a fan photo where the $7,000 prize payment goes to good use. It seems that photographer, Toby Cooper, got a little too close when he jumped from behind a palm tree and my car smacked him down. He is recovering quite well at the Kuwait Hospital and Hotel in Salmiya. Toby suffered from a broken camera and a small cut above his eyebrow.  

At the Kuwait Airport

Nigel Pettibone was photographed minutes ago, at the Kuwait airport wielding his cane. Ironically, he has named his cane, "Abel", because he is "able" to use it in so many ways...and because of the two brothers in the book of Genesis, Cain and Abel. Sounds a little crazy to me, but it's a fact. I just don't make these things up, y'know.