What Ever Happened to...Cult Leader Olaf Norris?

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Many have asked me recently, "How come you haven't written about the Viking cult leader, Olaf Norris?" Well, to be honest, he just seemed to drop out of the public eye in 2008.

My cracked research team in Sugarland, Texas did some investigation and came up with the following information:

Olaf Klak, who changed his last name to Norris (because it sounds like Norse), was once the leader of a cult known as "The Striking and Biking Hiking Vikings". His group of sixty five wore horned helmets and Viking underoos and would frequently be seen eating apricot cream cheese danishs while hiking through city civic centers. 

His teachings led many members to live in the crevices of Mount Rushmore. Each member had to be baptized in the icy waters of a public swimming pool and hung upside down to dry for at least ten minutes. Olaf taught that climate change was of the devil and that daylight savings time was a ploy to confuse Scandinavian lands and parts of Greenland.

When Olaf was arrested for littering and sentenced to die on Skull Island, Ed Young came to his rescue. After talking with Olaf and paying for his release, Ed convinced Olaf to abandon his cult group and help build a parking garage for his new airplanes. 

Today, Olaf Norris works for Ed Young Inner-tainment Enterprises Construction Company where he pulls in a six-figure salary each year.

This just in...Olaf Norris passed away yesterday and, as requested by his wife, was set on fire, along with his ABBA CD's, on a pyre that was set adrift at Galveston beach. Ed Young gave a hip-hop message that angered almost everyone who attended. He escaped on his private jet before former cult members could catch him.  

Fan Photo from Galahad Pontoon

A hearty thanks and a check for $7,000 goes out to long time fan, 

Mr. Galahad Pontoon of Pencil Neck, Nebraska.

You have made my President's Day!   

Corky at Mount Rushmore

Corky finally made it to Mount Rushmore near Keystone, South Dakota. He texted us and explained his delay was due to bad weather and his horse needing new shoes. He discovered that Payless Shoes didn't carry footwear for large, single-toed mammals.  

This magnificent Presidential Memorial is not to be taken for granite. It was an ideal place to drum up new members and talk to the Lakota Sioux about Calvinistic Cartoons.

Corky has asked that his future whereabouts not be mentioned beforehand. He wants to surprise readers with his places of destination so that the "game" is not compromised.

One individual approached Corky at Murphy's Bridle and Feed Store and said, "Cotton Adams is a Calvinist". That man, Tom Joad, received a check for one thousand dollars on the spot. That's the way this game is played. So remember to look for a man dressed like a giant grenade. He might be in your neighborhood tomorrow.

And please report any impostors that may be disguised as a Romans 9 grenade.

Thank you.