"The Benny Finney is a most effective technique. Follow these steps and you will stop a Calvinist in his tracks. (1) As the Calvinist starts to answer your question start honking your nose. (push your nose and loudly say, "HONK! HONK!") (2) If this doesn't deter his ranting, then honk HIS nose!"
"The Elvis Wesley is a method that is easy to learn and easy to apply to any troublesome situation. First, you accuse Mr. or Ms. Calvinist of cosmic treason. Second, as they try to defend themselves, start singing "You're Just the Devil in Disguise" and start shaking violently. Third, fall to the ground and start foaming at the mouth. This will look bad for the Calvinist. When he or she leaves (this might take a while) then jump up and say, 'I've got me mind back!' Always works."
"The Nigel Pettibone Smite Method is the last resort. If the person remains calm and collected after the Benny Finney and the Elvis Wesley then bop the person over the head with your cane! Every time they start to complain, bop 'em again! Eventually they will get the message that they will not win the debate. Who needs debates anyway? WE don't that's for sure!
