Thursday, February 25, 2016

Just for Laughs #378


  1. After many hours of research, Dr. Manny A. Cal, a respected arminian scientist, is wondering why his new invention, the Will Changer 4000, doesn't seem to be working. Since man must will himself to choose God, and that choice comes from a particular area of the brain, Dr. Cal has been working on a device to change mans will for him. His fellow arminians are excited to have another manipulation device beyond music, 2-hour altar calls and bad preaching. Calvinists don't seem to be worried because only God can change the will of man.

  2. Billybob Graham Bell, after years of occasionally scanning through the Scriptures but mostly sitting quietly listening to the voice of God (that sounds remarkably like a gastrointestinal problem), has finally developed the plans for the perfect prayer machine. Convinced that the right formula would result in God answering his prayer every time, he builds the machine, throws the switch, makes a wish, and...


    Downcast, he has nothing left but to return to quietly listening for God's voice among his irritated bowels.

    "If only the Bible had the formula," he groans to himself.

  3. After listening to hundreds of sermons, analysts still can't make any sense of Rob Bell.

  4. The moment when Dr. Higgenbothem gave up on trying to prove that the visions recorded in Ezekiel 1 were actually the first recorded UFO sightings.


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