Notes from the report by agent Barry Cade:
Lenny Finney. Real name - Al Bino. Escaped from Arkham Asylum. Shot by S.W.A.T. December 29th as he was about to kill hostages.
Rexal Pettibone. Real name - Biff Wellington. Captured after he ran into a brick wall. Returned to Mount Everest Prison.
Lou Fink. Real name - Dan Druff. Taken into custody an hour before the hostage situation at a recording studio across the street from Cheesecake Factory.
Dale Ray Delray. Real name - Dale Roy Delroy. Mastermind of the entire operation. Shot by S.W.A.T. as he attempted an escape in a colorful hot air balloon.
Benny Finney, Elvis Wesley and Nigel Pettibone were all returned safely to their mansions. They are eager to return to their Arminian Antics. The congregation of Sola Bootstrapa Church will be throwing a Welcome Back party at the church house this evening at seven. Only Arminians are invited.
The Sola Bootstrapa blog will be up and running January 3, 2015.