Wart's Up, Doc?I dare you to go up to Dr. Finney and ask him to heal your wart in the middle of the sermon.I'll take that dare!Dr. Finney, can you heal this wart?Not now, son, and get back to your seat, you are ruining my latest DVD, which can be purchased right after the sermon is finished. Now smile and get back to your seat.Remember, folks, healing requests will be taken at the end. Now, where was I? Oh yes...
Wart's Up, Doc?I dare you to go up to Dr. Finney and ask him to heal your wart in the middle of the sermon.I'll take that dare!Dr. Finney, can you heal this wart?Not now, son, and get back to your seat, you are ruining my latest DVD, which can be purchased right after the sermon is finished. Now smile and get back to your seat.Remember, folks, healing requests will be taken at the end. Now, where was I? Oh yes... "It is easier for a camel to go through the eye of a needle than for someone who is rich to enter the kingdom of God.” Now what Jesus really meant was...(Sorry for the repeat, I wrote down dare instead of needle. Oops!)
ARMINIAN ANTICIPATIONBenny Finney's fans were sitting on pins and needles as they eagerly awaited the DVD release of his "Calvin Is A Wart" sermon series.
To no one in particular:HAHAHAHAHAHAHA
Who WAS that shadowy figure of a commenter? I'll bet that he has a pretty good idea of what evil lies in the hearts of men.
An Unusual VisitI was sitting in my desk chair as I did almost every afternoon, this time however, I would be visited by none other than Arminy-N. "Greetings!" He cried. I turned, pulling the disk out the drive and asked, "Who are you?" "Arminy-N" "Arminian?" "No, you wart faced twit! Arminy-N!" I paused, setting my sermon DVD down on the desk, the Paul Washer sermon on video disk had just finished playing. "I fail to see the difference." I said. "Never mind. Can I have your computer?" "No!" I protested, "You cannot use my computer." "How about your dishwasher? I'm really dirty!" It was then that I realized that Arminy-N was stranger than I had thought, not only was his name theologically unsound, but I wondered about his mind. "How did you get here?" "I live here, needle-nose!" "You live in my backyard?" "Do you live in Geneva?" "Uh...no." He eyed me suspiciously, "Then why do you have Calvin's Institutes on your eReader?" "Because I'm reading it." I explained, not sure how he knew it was on my eReader." He then reached into my window and grabbed my arm. "This is my place now, and that's not a good place to be, wanna know why?" Puzzled, I asked, ignoring his tugging at my wrist, resisting the urge to grab my Gerber Paraframe II and cut myself free. "Why?""You don't wanna know. Wanna know why?" "Why?""You don't wanna know. Wanna know why?" "Are you going to tell me this time?" "Because I ain't bought a book in weeks!" For me, this was a horrendous thing. That, and he smelled funny and this really deterred me from the idea of living with him for any amount of time.It was then that Arminy-N heard something he could not believe. "Do you hear that?" "Hear what?" "It's a street preacher quoting Acts 13:48" I looked, and sure enough, the man was. "I wanna straighten out that preacher boy." He let go, "I'm gonna straighten out that preacher...BOY!" He ram away into the street. I leaned back into my chair, and wondered what had just happened to me. "I need another Paul Washer sermon."The EndInspired by Joel who was inspired by Julian Smith.
@Michael: Haha! Nice parody!
@CoreyAll four words in one sentence. Nice!
@Reformed Squirrel: Thanks! I'm usually one of the more long-winded Random Word Writing contestants, so I wanted to see if I could do something shorter... for a change. :D
@Michael:Your script was YouTube worthy, my friend.You got it Wright!
ThomasThere once was a worry wart. He didn't know where to start.He tried to fit angels on needles and pinsThey spun like DVDs till they fell on their shins,And his sermons inspired men to take pride in their own hearts.