Abe: It was right around here that I almost caught the biggest fish ever... No, really... It was huge! Too bad it got away...
Unknown man:"So THIS is the spot where you last saw Corky Velveeta?"Honest Abe:"Yep. He was a floatin' down the river singing an old hymn when suddenly he jest disappeared on me!I've never seen the like..."
Dude:"Tell me the truth Abe...are you a Calvinist or not?!"Abe:"I never answer a question like that when I'm sitting across from a known Arminian with a big stick."
"Many moons ago our forefathers...""A really, really, really long time ago our forefathers...""Shucks, I think I need a better opening line."
Father Abraham had many sons, and many sons had father Abraham... but sadly... no fish.
I like Peris's "many moons"
What to do if your sleeping pills start working: try to memorize a Bible passage and then look at Calvinistic Cartoons archives.
@Persis: Hahahahaha! Nice one! :D
So guys, I meant to say if your sleeping pills stop working, not start.
"You think I should quote Calvin in the Gettysburg address?"
Aw, there are some great ones this time! But I think we're missing one from our Venerable Boyd. *sigh*
"...and, you know, I really like General Lee; he is a good Christian man. He is just too darned Episcopalian for my taste. So, as far as I am concerned, he and Jeff Davis can enjoy chanting their Prayer Book together."