The Sacred BLT #5

Excerpts from Nigel's New Book #6

An Arminian friend of mine asked me if there will be toys and board games in Heaven. Yep! That's a fact, Jack. Some, but not all. For instance, games like Sorry, Battleship, Risk, Monopoly, Mouse Trap and Operation will never enter the gates of Heaven. On the other hand, Candy Land, Scrabble, Chess, Checkers and Hey! That's My Fish! will be found in 78% of all dwelling places."  

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Excerpts from Nigel's New Book #5

"Someone asked me in an email if they will see their pet goldfish in Heaven. Lady, why would you want to keep a creature of the watery world in a glass bowl for eternity? Wouldn't you want to let it swim with kabillions of it's own kind? Are you insane? That fish doesn't even care if you choke to death on a bacon, lettuce and tomato sandwich! Wake up, woman! Fish are not pets! They are prisoners of curious humans! If you ask me that again, even in Heaven, I will ban you from the Nigel Adam Pettibone Galaxy for six millenniums. I don't care if you are my sister-in-law."

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Excerpts from Nigel's New Book #4

"It was C.S. Lewis who said, that '...a Heaven for mosquitoes and a Hell for men could very conveniently be combined.' Well, brother, Mr. Lewis (no relation to Jerry) hit the nail on the head with that statement. All mosquitoes go to Hell when they die. So do centipedes, silverfish and trap-door spiders. For some reason scorpions have their own planet in the new, improved, resurrected universe...it's called the Planet of Scorpions. There is even a constellation pointing the way to it."

Angus Mystery Announcement!

The Angus Duncan mystery will be continued and concluded on the Sacred Sandwich blog. Check the Sandwich daily for more clues and story arc. The staff at SS has been diligently seeking answers.

Excerpts from Nigel's New Book #3

"Ever heard of the Nigel Adam Pettibone Galaxy? Well, you will when and if you make it to Heaven. In the new Heaven and new Earth, some of us will be rulers over land and over sections of the new Universe. I have kept a record of my Heavenly rewards and I will probably serve as ruler over a smaller galaxy just left of the Milky Way. This thought came to me as I was floating down a river in a block of ice, so I know it must be real. I will have an open door policy, so every Arminian can come and visit. There will be plenty of coffee, tea and soft oatmeal cookies."

Excerpts from Nigel's New Book #2

"When I get to Heaven I will have requests answered. I plan on requesting that I will physically look like I am now. I want to appear as the oldest guy within those pearly gates. Oh sure, I will be able to jump high as the Hulk and do feats like Captain America, but I still look as old as an antique sofa. And even though I will have no need for a cane, I will ask for an indestructible one that can glow in the dark...and shoot electric bolts." 

SQ5

The Sacred BLT #4

Need a Lift? Corky Contest #4

Your May Calendar

Our Newest CIA Agent

"Let me make this perfectly clear...anywhere within a 50 foot radius of my anatomical structure is called a Danger Zone."  --  Agent H.P.

FREE BOOK (if you qualify)

If you are a Warminian click HERE

Agent Cade Turned Rogue!

Yeah...you might need to enlarge this.

This was posted on eBay just seconds ago. We wondered what happened to Agent Cade when we didn't hear from him. Now we know he has turned rogue! The love of money is the root of all kinds of evil...and, brother, his roots are showing! Looks like we were bamboozled!

Need a Lift? Corky Contest #3

Rules are found on April 15 post

A Jim Benton Cartoon

I feel this way as an adult...mainly with my spiritual responsibilities.

Just for Laughs #360

The payoff is in the captions

Excerpts from Nigel's New Book #1

"In Heaven you can eat tarantulas. Not real tarantulas, mind you, but reasonable facsimiles. It's like automated substitute meat - a soy-based mock meat that tastes like spicy chicken livers. Sounds gross to you present day Earth dwellers, but there you will see it as beautiful. It will be like a free Happy Meal with a side of manna."  

The Hideout

Love the Lord with All Your Being

The Sacred BLT #3

Found Duncan's Flux Capacitor!

Just for Laughs #359

It's your move...think of a caption

In Loving Memory...

Just for Laughs #358

Don't be frightened...make a caption

Take a Bite

Here!

Need a Lift? Corky Contest #2

If you have forgotten what to do...

check the April 15 post.

Just for Laughs #357

So where are deez captions?

Tragic Announcement

Just for Laughs #356

Light up some good humor and comment below

Corky's Flux Capacitor Found!

Just for Laughs #355

Help cook up some nice theological humor

Just for Laugh-a-thon Starting Today

Official Report from Agent A.D. #2

A to Z Twice in One Day

Click on the A to Z for easier reading

Introducing a FREE BOOK

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The Sacred BLT #2

News Flash

Just minutes ago our surveillance cameras spotted Coddington Borax entering a store in Colorado Springs, Colorado. 

Flux Capacitor Found!

FREE BOOK

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Today at NCIS

Wonder why NCIS (No Calvinists In Society) is interested in this case?

Create Your Own Rob Bell Show!

Go for it.

Signs of Clues

These were found under a rug in room 1888

Need a Lift? - A New Corky Contest

The rules are simple: When you see a photo of Corky walking on a road, try to identify the location and drive there, Corky will be in that vicinity for 5 full days. Stop your car and say, "Need a lift? I'm a bona fide member of Calvinistic Cartoons!" Corky will hand you an envelope with $7,000 in it and you will be on your way. It's just that simple!  

Just for Laughs #354

Go ahead...someone out there needs to explode with laughter.