Sam "The Free-Willin' Pelagian" Manning turns to his Calvinist buddy, Joe: "I don't know why you don't drink or smoke. If your salvation is all up to God, then you don't have anything to worry about. Enjoy life! Me? I have the free will to do anything I want. As long as I believe in God, he has to save me."
My Auntie Nomian used to tell me the same thing!
It's alter call time. Can you spot the Calvinist?