I was watching a Warner Brothers cartoon about death when someone knocked at the door. It was my physician Doctor Cokeland. "Sorry to bring you such sour grapes," he said as he handed me a grocery bag. "These grapes were left in the car all day in the heat." Then he ran to the car and drove away in reverse.
A recent archaeological discovery has stunned Old Testament scholars. From a remote corner in the Middle East, Herr Doctor Johannes Steinbeckenauer has uncovered evidence of the secret life of Goliath. Not only was he a trampler of armies like grapes in a wine press and the villain responsible for mayhem and death wherever he trod, he was something even more sinister. According to Dr. Steinbeckenauer, Goliath was a textile merchant.
In his soon-to-be-released book, Dr. Steinbeckenauer details the seamy underbelly of the ancient Philistine fabric industry. This dog-eat-dog world was the true training ground for the giant Terminator of his day.
There are rumors that this book has been optioned as a major motion picture or at least a 30 second cartoon on Youtube. Soon to be released at an undiscerning bookstore near you ....
I was about to have my quiet time. I had my bowl of grapes and my coffee. The book I was reading was entitled, "The Death of Death". Suddenly, a cartoon doctor walked into my living room.
I was watching a Warner Brothers cartoon about death when someone knocked at the door. It was my physician Doctor Cokeland.
ReplyDelete"Sorry to bring you such sour grapes," he said as he handed me a grocery bag.
"These grapes were left in the car all day in the heat."
Then he ran to the car and drove away in reverse.
How mysterious.
DeleteA recent archaeological discovery has stunned Old Testament scholars. From a remote corner in the Middle East, Herr Doctor Johannes Steinbeckenauer has uncovered evidence of the secret life of Goliath. Not only was he a trampler of armies like grapes in a wine press and the villain responsible for mayhem and death wherever he trod, he was something even more sinister. According to Dr. Steinbeckenauer, Goliath was a textile merchant.
ReplyDeleteIn his soon-to-be-released book, Dr. Steinbeckenauer details the seamy underbelly of the ancient Philistine fabric industry. This dog-eat-dog world was the true training ground for the giant Terminator of his day.
There are rumors that this book has been optioned as a major motion picture or at least a 30 second cartoon on Youtube. Soon to be released at an undiscerning bookstore near you ....
The Drapes of Gath.
(sorry)
No need to apologize...it was GRRReat!
DeleteOw! Ow! Ow!
DeleteCalvinist Contaminated Grapes
ReplyDelete"These grapes will be the death of me," Chuck Fin gasps. "I need a doctor. I need a doctor!"
"This ain't a cartoon, this is real life," Lan Hill scolds. "I'm not a Calvinist, but you don't have to overreact about it!"
"THEY WERE TOUCHED BY A CALVINIST!!!" Chuck screams. "I'LL BE MURDERING HERETICS LEFT AND RIGHT BY TOMORROW!"
"Oh, calm do -"
"JOHN 3:16! JOHN 3:16! JOHN 3:16!"
This is going to be a long night...
To quote Buffalo Springfield...paranoia strikes deep - into your heart it will creep.
DeleteChuck Fin "wholeheartedly" agrees.
DeleteI meant..."into your LIFE it will creep.
Delete"Death to the grapes!" Doctor Death screamed as he fell off the roof.
ReplyDeleteI was about to have my quiet time. I had my bowl of grapes and my coffee. The book I was reading was entitled, "The Death of Death". Suddenly, a cartoon doctor walked into my living room.
ReplyDeleteThese have got to come back, I tells ya!
ReplyDeleteCC is booked up until January 19th. Look for it on the 21st.
DeleteExcellent! Thanks!
Delete