That made me laugh, especially about letting the Bible fall open and you needing to do what it says!Committed Christian
There's a joke about a guy who let his Bible fall open. He read wherever his finger happened to be pointing. He read, "And Judas went out and hanged himself." Nervously, he tried again. This time it read, "Go thou and do likewise," Frightened, he tried a last time. Now he read, "What thou dost, do quickly."
with exception to the "send me a 10 spot line", that sounds all too familiar . . .