September 2, 1739
I reached the town of Flavenfoofel in the afternoon. I stayed at the Dew Drop Inn and fell into bed, exhausted from a full day of travel. I visited the Flavenfoofel Friends Fellowship Church and heard a sermon quite innocent of meaning. No substance. No gospel. Just an attempt to make the members comfortable in their sinful practices. the pastor should have put out to pasture. It almost appears he has switched sides. His announcement of a visiting preacher for the evening gathering sparked my curiosity, for I have heard of this name in three of the last towns I ministered.
The evening sermon, by the preacher known as Max Crassman, disturbed me greatly. He is known by some as the "Cursing Preacher", although, a better title would be "The Cursed Preacher".
Is there no man of spirit belonging to this congregation? Why is such burlesque upon public worship suffered? Would it not be far better to pay this "gentleman" for doing nothing, than for doing mischief and for bringing a scandal upon the Grace-filled doctrines we cherish?
I will not repeat even a part of his "sermon" for I am commanded , by our Lord, not to even think on these things, but I will leave you my "List of Reasons" I have now successfully posted throughout this town. I have to confess, I was never more tempted to throttle someone in the "ministry" than I was last night. This was my way of satirizing the preachers position in his use of profane words:
Ten Reasons Why I Use Foul Language
1. It pleases mother so much.
2. It is a fine mark of manliness.
3. It proves I have self control.
4. It indicates how clearly my mind operates.
5. It makes my conversation so pleasing to everybody.
6. It leaves no doubt in anyone's mind as to my good breeding.
7. It impresses people that I have more than ordinary education.
8. It is an unmistakable sign of culture and refinement.
9. It makes me a very desirable personality among women and children and in respectable society.
10. It is my way of honoring God who said, "Thou shalt not take the name of the Lord thy God in vain." (Exodus 4:12)
In this way I appeal both to common decency and common sense, which I am afraid is no longer as common as it once was.