Tuesday, July 21, 2009

Jonah Crabby Prophet

There is a crab named the Jonah Crab. Like the Biblical prophet, the rock-hard crab is hardened to all external influences and must be forced to "obey". Here is a little poem about the prophet...not the crab.

Jonah - The Hardshell Prophet
By Eddie Eddings

God said "Go!"
Jonah said "NO!"
It was westward ho for angry Joe.
God made a storm blow
So the sailors would throw
Ol' so and so in the H20
Po' Joe sinko below
His ego swallowed by a giant minnow!

After three days...vomited on the beach
The gastric acid gave his skin the bleach
Uncle "Whitey" learns a lesson and is ready to preach!

"In 40 days - and God is prompt
This wicked city will get stomped!"
Then the pouting prophet with much agitation
Sat outside the city among the vegetation.

His expectation
Of a manifestation
Of Divine condemnation
On this Assyrian population came and went.
Jonah resented
When God relented
After the Ninevites repented

He wanted God to be cross!
He wanted to see blood!
He wanted God to nail them now!

...if he only trusted God for the
When and where
He might have understood the
Who and the how!


  1. Hey, wasn't that the crab that starred in that famous Arminian movie, "Free Will-y"?

  2. No, it was his twin brother, Fiddler. Sad to say, he's a hermit now.

  3. Good stuff, Eddie. You had a little hip hop vibe going there.


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