The Universe is expanding. That should help ease the traffic.
Ever notice the roof of your car is the worst cup holder ever?
Actually, I'm not getting smaller. I'm running away from you.
Any food can be a superfood if you put a little cape on it.
I think hitch-hikers are really friendly. I've gone past three in the last hour and they all gave me the thumbs up.
Broke a light bulb today. Seven years of bad ideas?
People have one thing in common: they are all different.
I slept like a rock last night meaning I woke up in the flower bed with the house key under my belly.
I remember, before I left for Kuwait, my local Blockbuster changed its name to Building For Rent.
To err is human, to arr is pirate.
Sure the weed whacking is done but now we have no phone or internet.
I got my tax refund yesterday. Now, I'm just trying to decide at which vending machine to spend it.