Spies who still disguise themselves using newspapers with holes cut out are often behind The Times.
FUN FACT: It's impossible to look cool when using your iPad to take a photo.
Would you mind repeating the part where you weren't talking?
For breakfast, 3 bowls of porridge is the bear minimum.
Haunted French pancake shops still give me the crêpes.
You don't see many ninjas these days. Which only means they're getting better.
Got a new turtleneck sweater. It's really comfortable, but sad that all those turtles had to die.
I've owned 3 Golden Retriever's and not once has one of them brought me any gold.
The recipe said "Set the oven to 180 degrees," so I did, but now I can't open it because the door faces the wall.
I had a dream that I watched Inception, and now I'm really confused.
I've been moonlighting as a Werewolf.
Apparently, California has the highest rate of Adultery and Depression. It's a sad State of affairs.