Saturday, December 17, 2011

Last Night at the Velveeta Room

Here is a little bit of my comedy routine at the Velveeta Room:

Announcer: Ladies and gentleman, will you please give a warm welcome to Eddie Eddings!
“Alright, thanks everybody! Have you ever run into an annoying Arminian? I used to live in an apartment just above one. He declared his apartment an independent nation, and sued me for "violating his airspace".
...he would always finish his sentences with the words, "in accordance with prophesy"...and he began all his sentences with "ooo la la"...annoying I tells ya.
Of course, Calvinists can be irritating as well...I knew one Calvinist, Bonjo Loopis, who would repeat everything someone said as a question. He would demand that everyone address him as "Conquistador".
One time at church he went around asking people what gender they were. 
Then there was that blogger, Craig Boyd...he would sit in his front yard pointing a hair dryer at passing cars to see if they would slow down. We went out to lunch once and he asked the waitress for an extra chair for his "imaginary friend". 
Thanks everyone, you've been great! See you September 31st! ...and yes, I have a day job.


  1. I love asking waitresses for items for my imaginary friend. It's very funny, and I'm glad I'm not the only one!

  2. I don't get no respect. But, let me tell ya about this Eddings guy. He gets his material from the "comment pages" at Ray Comfort's blog.

    I get no respect from Ray's people, either. Just the other day I was having coffee with Kirk Cameron, and he asked me if I would like my cup "topped off." I said, "No. I'm good." He said, "Well, let me ask you some questions from the Ten Commandments to see if you really are 'good'." Talk about a grown up growing pain.

  3. I think it's dangerous to have two or three equally strange people gathered together. Isn't their a verse about that? I'd better get out of here! I'm dangerous enough in my own company, I don't need any help.

  4. Constitution Girl said "...I think it's dangerous to have two or three equally strange people gathered together..."

    There was a guy off-stage with a hook attached to a long pole who thought the same thing.

    Craig "I'm Outa Here" Boyd

  5. I should have known! I daresay that there are plenty of people who want to hook me from time to time. ;)

  6. I'm sure you were doing great. It's just that some people don't have such a refined taste in comedy; and they are usually the ones with hooks.

  7. @Craig:

    So is this true or is Eddie misaligning your character?

  8. Before anyone else says anything, I have my comedic license (expires in 2020) which allows me to "make up stuff".

  9. @Persis "So is this true or is Eddie misaligning your character?"

    Well, My character IS way past-due for an alignment. I've been having to use malaprops to help keep it upright.

    ; )


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