"Watkins, this is doubtlessly one of our strangest cases," I declare to my whiskered friend as he takes a deep sip of American-grown tea.
"I concur," he replies, keeping his eyes peeled. "But I think we'll get a break soon. This case will be dead and buried before we know it!"
"I think that he may have just provided the nails for his own coffin," I whisper, turning my attention to a man who's just entering the restaurant. "I believe that the Lord may be answering our prayers sooner than we expected..."
"I love it when that happens! I..."
"Hand over the dough, gramps," our suspect threatens randomly to the teenaged cashier.
"Wha...?" he chokes, stepping back, only to get blasted in the face with two mustard guns.
"I'm taking over this place!" he screams as we rise, causing him to notice us. "This place is owned by a guy named Calvin, and I'm descended from Servetus - it's payback t..."
"Do you even dance?" I taunt, slipping off my open trench coat and adjusting my collar. "You've got mustard skills, but do you have dance skills?"
"Well, if it isn't Sherwood Homes," he growls, tipping his head back haughtily. "I think that you've got a banana for a spine! You can't handle the mustard!"
"What Calvin did has no bearing on Calvinism, that's the genetic fallacy," I state, bobbing my head, shuffling, and doing jazz hands.
"Logic is for Pharisees!" he screams, emptying a spray of mustard at me.
I slip them and spin, continuing my jazz hands as I grab two ketchup containers, squeezing their contents at him, forcing him to dive out of the way.
"This one is called, 'Mow the lawn'," mustard man chuckles, simulating the action.
"Not bad, amateur, but decent," I comment, breaking into my fave. "This is the 'John Piper'!"
"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" the foul monster screeches, falling to his knees and dropping his weapons, exploding into a cloud of mustard powder.
"What just happened?" Watkins coughs, examining a small bit of mustard on the toe of my left shoe. "It seems...normal..."
I smile. "He just wasn't able to handle gestures of the Spirit."
Somehow I missed this last night as I checked CC. I shall do this later for great justice.
ReplyDeleteI meant to do it later that day but forgot. X-D So today it shall be!
ReplyDeleteThe Attack of Mustard Man
ReplyDelete"Watkins, this is doubtlessly one of our strangest cases," I declare to my whiskered friend as he takes a deep sip of American-grown tea.
"I concur," he replies, keeping his eyes peeled. "But I think we'll get a break soon. This case will be dead and buried before we know it!"
"I think that he may have just provided the nails for his own coffin," I whisper, turning my attention to a man who's just entering the restaurant. "I believe that the Lord may be answering our prayers sooner than we expected..."
"I love it when that happens! I..."
"Hand over the dough, gramps," our suspect threatens randomly to the teenaged cashier.
"Wha...?" he chokes, stepping back, only to get blasted in the face with two mustard guns.
"I'm taking over this place!" he screams as we rise, causing him to notice us. "This place is owned by a guy named Calvin, and I'm descended from Servetus - it's payback t..."
"Do you even dance?" I taunt, slipping off my open trench coat and adjusting my collar. "You've got mustard skills, but do you have dance skills?"
"Well, if it isn't Sherwood Homes," he growls, tipping his head back haughtily. "I think that you've got a banana for a spine! You can't handle the mustard!"
"What Calvin did has no bearing on Calvinism, that's the genetic fallacy," I state, bobbing my head, shuffling, and doing jazz hands.
"Logic is for Pharisees!" he screams, emptying a spray of mustard at me.
I slip them and spin, continuing my jazz hands as I grab two ketchup containers, squeezing their contents at him, forcing him to dive out of the way.
"This one is called, 'Mow the lawn'," mustard man chuckles, simulating the action.
"Not bad, amateur, but decent," I comment, breaking into my fave. "This is the 'John Piper'!"
"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" the foul monster screeches, falling to his knees and dropping his weapons, exploding into a cloud of mustard powder.
"What just happened?" Watkins coughs, examining a small bit of mustard on the toe of my left shoe. "It seems...normal..."
I smile. "He just wasn't able to handle gestures of the Spirit."
REFERENCE: http://pipergifs.com/
Bravo! And the Piper gifs were just musical!
ReplyDelete