The Calvinistic Method

I Wrote This for You!

Snoopy and His Editor

A Page to Ponder #7

A Page to Ponder

Arminian Antics #165

A True Blue Clue from Cade to You

Barry Cade here. I found this photo on my windshield this morning. Written on the back was this odd poem:

The year Louisa May Alcott died

And the year Harpo Marx was born

Is the year I will remain inside

Until you find the powder horn

The Problem with Current Currencies

Slanting Theology

Short Story Challenge for Writers

I need a short short story, prose or poem using this illustration as the subject. Yes, that is me behind the helmet and Corky Velveeta in the landscape (...or is it?). The story chosen will be written in the white space within the illustration. The black space will hold the title and author's name. I can increase the white space for the copy but don't make it too long. Creativity, brevity and impact are the key ingredients. The winning story will be published separately on May 30, 2012. Thanks everyone, and have fun!

The winner will have an asteroid in the Pinwheel Galaxy named after them!

The runners up will have half an asteroid named after them from the Howdy Doody Galaxy!

The absolute worst story (which we will never mention) will have a cubic inch of space given to them from the Garbage Dump Galaxy in sector 873!

The Top Ten in Rhyme

The Ten Commandments in Rhyme

1. Thou no gods shalt have but Me.
2. Before no idol bow the knee.
3. Take not the name of God in vain.
4. Dare not the sabbath day profane.
5. Give to thy parents honor due.
6. Take heed that thou no murder do.
7. Abstain from words and deeds unclean.
8. Steal not, for thou by God art seen.
9. Tell no willful lie and love it.
10. What is thy neighbors do not covet.

And the New King James Version:

1. You should have no gods but Me.
2. Before no idol bow your knee.
3. Don't take the name of God in vain.
4. Don't dare the sabbath day profane.
5. Give to your parents the honor due.
6. Take heed that you don't murder too.
7. Refrain from words and deeds unclean.
8. Don't steal, for you by God are seen.
9. Tell no willful lie and love it.
10. What is your neighbors do not covet.

Arminian Antics #64

Piranha and Kin

Oh, gentle Piranha
With mouth open wide
In your waters
There's no place to hide
Bite me on the foot
Bite me on the hand
In a matter of seconds I'll be butchered like a dead cow at a hyena convention

Oh, gentle heretic

With mouth open wide

In your waters

There is poison with each tide

Looking for a victim

Looking for your prey

You should look both ways before crossing the street

'Cause you're about to be hit by a mega-ton eighteen-wheeler with a five-point engine, Calvinistic style.

Arminian Antics #57

Calvinistic Cartoons Poetry Corner #2

Arminian Antics #41

Warming Up

Calvinistic Cartoons Poetry Corner

Write for Christmas

Here is a little ditty I wrote in December of 2008.

I hope this inspires you to write one yourself.

Make it your wish list or just a funny list.

Just stay on key...please...and if 

your voice warbles...

don't sing.

12 Days of Christmas (revised)

ON THE TWELFTH DAY OF CHRISTMAS,
MY TRUE LOVE SENT TO ME
TWELVE COMMENTARIES,
ELEVEN CHRISTIAN MAGNETS,
TEN CD'S PLAYING,
NINE KINKADE PAINTINGS,
EIGHT MAPS OF JOPPA,
SEVEN BOOKS BY CALVIN,
SIX SPURGEON SERMONS,
FIVE... TU-LIP... RINGS,
FOUR CHRISTIAN MINTS,
THREE PINK BOOKS,
TWO BIBLE CUPS,
AND A COPY OF THE SOVEREIGNTY OF GOD!

Longfellow Poem Discovered

Here is a poem recently discovered in an old book at 

the Library of Congress by Nakoma Linkletter.

 

The Song of Finneyhaha

by Henry Wadsworth Longfellow

   On the shores of Gitche Gumee, 
by the crazy tent revival, 
Stood Charlie, the old preacher, 
Pointing with his finger westward, 
O'er the people pointing westward, 
To the purple clouds of sunset.
    Fiercely the red sun descending 
Burned his way along the heavens, 
Set the sky on fire behind him, 
As he posed with eyes a gleaming, 
   "I can create my own revivals, 
With repentance if I choose to, 
It's all about mathematics, 
Heaven blessed and automatic". 
So said Charlie while the sun set, 
With its glare upon his features.