The good thing about predestination is I don't even have to aim this thing.
Now are you so sure that a copy of The Watchtower will stop a .308?
"Betcha can't knock that penny off that anxious seat next to the church over there without nicking the wood."
Girl: "Mom, what's so dangerous about this man? He looks harmless enough."Mom: "Honey, we love people and want them to go to heaven, but this man doesn't want people to know that they will go to hell unless they have Jesus."Girl: "So should I shoot him in the heart or the head?"Mom: "Neither unless he opens his mouth. Just shoot the book out of his hand."Girl: "Isn't that a copy of the Bible he has there?"Mom: "No. It's his heretical book, Love Wins. That's Rob Bell."Girl: "So if we get rid of that bad book, then I guess real love WILL win because we can tell people the real truth."Mom: "That's right. Let's pray Rob Bell gets the message."
Pickin' off the Synergists was easy until a Lutheran came along...
Great one, TomiPad!
Growing increasingly desperate after no one was converted by scary movies about the rapture, handing out Chick tracts, wearing Christian t-shirts, adding a hip new "contemporary" service, and giving away donuts, the League of Arminian Methodist Egalitarians (L.A.M.E.) decided to hire two experienced snipers to help scare people into the kingdom. The feminist reverends were, of course, careful not to actually hit anyone (at least not fatally).