Wednesday, February 25, 2009

Random Word Writing Contest #4

Write a paragraph or two using the following random words:
coffee, balloon, Narnia, crime
Entries may be any form of creatively written expression. Just be funny.
And give your piece a TITLE.
The winner will be announced on Saturday, February 28th
and will be awarded a
Calvinistic Cartoons Excellence in Random Word Writing Award.


  1. An Island Tale

    Dorothy and Myrtle Pruitt have been faithful missionaries to Grilled Sandwich Island for over 50 years. This island is populated by an indigenous tribe that makes and exports garden gnomes. The people had never heard the gospel until the sisters answered the call to Grilled Sandwich Island to translate the Bible into their native language. Through their work, many became Christians. This had a remarkable effect reducing the crimes of coconut stealing and water balloon throwing to zero. Interestingly, Dorothy is a Calvinist and Myrtle is an Arminian but they have worked side by side, living in a small grass hut all these years. They agree on how they like their coffee, the order in which to read the Chronicles of Narnia, and almost everything except their theology. But for the sake of the work, they put aside their differences until one day.

    On browsing the web via satellite internet, Dorothy came upon a site called “Calvinistic Cartoons” and soon became a follower. Myrtle was not amused. She could not find a comparable Arminian site and became irritated by Dorothy's chuckles and guffaws . Finally, Myrtle couldn't take it any longer.

    “Dorothy, why must you continue to look at that silly web site? Surely, you have better and more edifying things to do?”

    “But Myrtle, you have just got to read this latest post! It's so funny! Oh, but come to think of it, you probably wouldn't like it.”

    “Well, I think it is irreverent and unbecoming to a Christian. Calvinists have too much levity. All this grace talk makes them careless in their behavior, not to mention their exigesis. The way they interpret scripture is scandalous!”

    Dorothy wasn't going to stand for that and began quoting Romans 9 and John 6:37. Taking up the challenge, Myrtle responded by reciting New Testament verses that used the word “all”. Tempers began to rise as the volley of verses increased. It is unclear who started it first but one of the sisters picked up a small garden gnome, a gift from one of the islanders, and lobbed it. It was soon followed by a flurry of gnomes being flung from one sister at the other ripping holes in the grass walls. This commotion drew a crowd of islanders who peered in the open door of the hut. The sisters came to their senses. Unharmed but very ashamed, they apologized to each other and their audience. An elderly man spoke kindly to them. “Ladies, you must be more careful.

    Those who live in grass houses should not throw gnomes.”

  2. Do you want your award now or should I wait until the deadline?
    GREAT STORY! Hope the movie stars Merryl Streep and Sally Field.

  3. If Baklava Koos Koos would be willing to direct the film, I'd leave the casting up to him. :)

  4. Oh My Word! That was hilarious.

  5. That was great. Never saw the ending coming. Great job Pilgrim Mommy


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