Wednesday, January 30, 2013

Free Answers to Any Question

If Mr. Q doesn't know the answer he will make one up. 

32 comments:

  1. What is your name? What is your quest? What is the capital of Assyria? That should be a good start.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I am called by many names:
      Mr. Question Mark
      Mr. Question
      Mark
      Mr. Q
      Mr.
      Q
      ...but my mama always called me QT (cutie)

      My quest is to answer Quest-ions.

      The letter A

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  2. THe bartender says "We don't allow time travelers in here." A time traveler walks into a bar.
    Is this funny?

    ReplyDelete
  3. Why would I want to ask a question? and
    Why would you want to answer it?

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I'm not sure and I'm not sure.

      Delete
  4. How many angels can dance on John Calvin's beard?

    ReplyDelete
  5. Replies
    1. A huge number of electrons, proton and neutrons.

      Delete
  6. Did I remember to put the cat out last night?

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. No. You forgot to shut the back door too. Your cat went out and came back 32 minutes later and closed the door by accident.

      Delete
  7. How much wood would a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood?

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Using the formula: (W + I) * C where W = the constant of wood, which is well known to be 61, as agreed in many scientific circles. I = the variable in this equation, and stands for the word "if" from the original problem. As there are three circumstances, with 0 equaling the chance that the woodchuck cannot chuck wood, 1 being the theory that the woodchuck can chuck wood but chooses not to, and 2 standing for the probability that the woodchuck can and will chuck wood, we clearly must choose 2 for use in this equation. C = the constant of Chuck Norris, whose presence in any problem involving the word chuck must there, is well known to equal 1.1 of any known being, therefore the final part of this calculation is 1.1. As is clear, this appears to give the answer of (61 + 2) * 1.1 = (63) * 1.1 = 69.3. However, Chuck Norris' awesome roundhouse kick declares that all decimal points cannot be used in formulas such as this, and so it must be rounded to the final solution of 69 units of wood.

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    2. Brilliant explanation, Mr. Q!

      Delete
  8. Dear Mark, does answering stupid questions make you feel blue?

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I am already blue. But, sometimes I do see red.
      Thanks for your question, Jayaruh.

      Delete
  9. Your timestamp is 12 hours ahead of your readers. Are you a time traveler?

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I travel into the future at 60 seconds per minute. I can't go into the past like Eddie and Corky. The reason for the timestamp being recorded that way is because of the fact that I am on the other side of the planet. I write this from the Calvinistic Cartoons Headquarters in Kuwait City.

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  10. Even though the 4th out doesn't count, has a major league baseball team ever pulled off a quadruple play?

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. The only "quadruple play" I have heard of is the one being pushed by my Cable Company to get me to buy more of their services (internet, cable, home phone, wireless)

      Delete
  11. Why did the chicken cross the road?

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. To get away from Colonel Sanders.

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  12. a) Why can't a woodchuck chuck wood?
    b) How much wood is thankful of this?

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. a)Woodchucks were not created to chuck wood. Although, ironically, they can gnaw on it and upchuck it later.

      b)Trees are glad about all of this...or so Walt Disney claimed when he was alive.

      Delete
  13. If there's an earthquake in Africa, does Djibouti shake?

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Samuel "Djibouti" Jones, is over six feet tall and weighs over 400 pounds. He shakes whenever an earthquake occurs anywhere on the planet.

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  14. How many questions will be asked here and when will the last question be asked?

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    Replies
    1. Oh, a trick question from a fake Coke can. I'll have to ask Corky sometime in the future. I do know this, though...I, Mr. Q will be the one to ask the last question.

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    2. Do I look like someone who doesn't have control?

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    3. Actually you don't look much at all.

      :-)

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