Using the formula: (W + I) * C where W = the constant of wood, which is well known to be 61, as agreed in many scientific circles. I = the variable in this equation, and stands for the word "if" from the original problem. As there are three circumstances, with 0 equaling the chance that the woodchuck cannot chuck wood, 1 being the theory that the woodchuck can chuck wood but chooses not to, and 2 standing for the probability that the woodchuck can and will chuck wood, we clearly must choose 2 for use in this equation. C = the constant of Chuck Norris, whose presence in any problem involving the word chuck must there, is well known to equal 1.1 of any known being, therefore the final part of this calculation is 1.1. As is clear, this appears to give the answer of (61 + 2) * 1.1 = (63) * 1.1 = 69.3. However, Chuck Norris' awesome roundhouse kick declares that all decimal points cannot be used in formulas such as this, and so it must be rounded to the final solution of 69 units of wood.
I travel into the future at 60 seconds per minute. I can't go into the past like Eddie and Corky. The reason for the timestamp being recorded that way is because of the fact that I am on the other side of the planet. I write this from the Calvinistic Cartoons Headquarters in Kuwait City.
The only "quadruple play" I have heard of is the one being pushed by my Cable Company to get me to buy more of their services (internet, cable, home phone, wireless)
Oh, a trick question from a fake Coke can. I'll have to ask Corky sometime in the future. I do know this, though...I, Mr. Q will be the one to ask the last question.
What is your name? What is your quest? What is the capital of Assyria? That should be a good start.
ReplyDeleteI am called by many names:
DeleteMr. Question Mark
Mr. Question
Mark
Mr. Q
Mr.
Q
...but my mama always called me QT (cutie)
My quest is to answer Quest-ions.
The letter A
THe bartender says "We don't allow time travelers in here." A time traveler walks into a bar.
ReplyDeleteIs this funny?
Give it some time.
DeleteWhy would I want to ask a question? and
ReplyDeleteWhy would you want to answer it?
I'm not sure and I'm not sure.
DeleteHow many angels can dance on John Calvin's beard?
ReplyDeleteFive
DeleteWhat's the difference between a duck?
ReplyDeleteA huge number of electrons, proton and neutrons.
DeleteDid I remember to put the cat out last night?
ReplyDeleteNo. You forgot to shut the back door too. Your cat went out and came back 32 minutes later and closed the door by accident.
DeleteHow much wood would a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood?
ReplyDeleteUsing the formula: (W + I) * C where W = the constant of wood, which is well known to be 61, as agreed in many scientific circles. I = the variable in this equation, and stands for the word "if" from the original problem. As there are three circumstances, with 0 equaling the chance that the woodchuck cannot chuck wood, 1 being the theory that the woodchuck can chuck wood but chooses not to, and 2 standing for the probability that the woodchuck can and will chuck wood, we clearly must choose 2 for use in this equation. C = the constant of Chuck Norris, whose presence in any problem involving the word chuck must there, is well known to equal 1.1 of any known being, therefore the final part of this calculation is 1.1. As is clear, this appears to give the answer of (61 + 2) * 1.1 = (63) * 1.1 = 69.3. However, Chuck Norris' awesome roundhouse kick declares that all decimal points cannot be used in formulas such as this, and so it must be rounded to the final solution of 69 units of wood.
DeleteBrilliant explanation, Mr. Q!
DeleteDear Mark, does answering stupid questions make you feel blue?
ReplyDeleteI am already blue. But, sometimes I do see red.
DeleteThanks for your question, Jayaruh.
Your timestamp is 12 hours ahead of your readers. Are you a time traveler?
ReplyDeleteI travel into the future at 60 seconds per minute. I can't go into the past like Eddie and Corky. The reason for the timestamp being recorded that way is because of the fact that I am on the other side of the planet. I write this from the Calvinistic Cartoons Headquarters in Kuwait City.
DeleteEven though the 4th out doesn't count, has a major league baseball team ever pulled off a quadruple play?
ReplyDeleteThe only "quadruple play" I have heard of is the one being pushed by my Cable Company to get me to buy more of their services (internet, cable, home phone, wireless)
DeleteWhy did the chicken cross the road?
ReplyDeleteTo get away from Colonel Sanders.
Deletea) Why can't a woodchuck chuck wood?
ReplyDeleteb) How much wood is thankful of this?
a)Woodchucks were not created to chuck wood. Although, ironically, they can gnaw on it and upchuck it later.
Deleteb)Trees are glad about all of this...or so Walt Disney claimed when he was alive.
If there's an earthquake in Africa, does Djibouti shake?
ReplyDeleteSamuel "Djibouti" Jones, is over six feet tall and weighs over 400 pounds. He shakes whenever an earthquake occurs anywhere on the planet.
DeleteHow many questions will be asked here and when will the last question be asked?
ReplyDeleteOh, a trick question from a fake Coke can. I'll have to ask Corky sometime in the future. I do know this, though...I, Mr. Q will be the one to ask the last question.
DeleteHow do you know?
DeleteDo I look like someone who doesn't have control?
DeleteActually you don't look much at all.
Delete:-)