Tuesday, February 10, 2009

Random Word Writing Contest #3

Writers! Create a paragraph or two
using the following random words:
fly, Noah, ice, light bulb
Entries may be poetry, prose, fiction, non-fiction (?), essays or interviews.
(or any other form of creatively written expression.)
And give your piece a TITLE.
The winner will be announced on February 16th and will be awarded a
Calvinistic Cartoons Excellence in Random Word Writing Award.


  1. In all of creation, I don't understand why God created the fly. I have tried everything I can think of to rid my life of these pests.

    I spread honey on a block of dry ice thinking that maybe they would stick and freeze. That didn't work.

    I tried one of those zapper contraptions that attracts insects to a special lightbulb. That didn't work.

    I am mad at Noah and when I get to Heaven I am going to give him a piece of my mind. He had both of them on that ark and he didn't smack'em when he had the chance.

  2. Hey Ralph! (in the voice of Ed Norton of the Honeymooners) Don't get your hopes up too high...but, so far, old friend (and I do mean old) you are at the top of the list to win! Maybe you have scared away all the competition with your excellent work!

  3. Couple Claim Ark in VA

    From the Daily Cabal - February 10, 1989

    Herbert and Ethel Crackenthorpe, an elderly couple from Nutley, NJ, claim they had a vision revealing Noah's Ark is hidden in Mount Trashmore, a city park built over a landfill in Virginia Beach, VA. Mr. Crackenthorpe said, "We had trouble sleeping last night because a fly was buzzing in the room. Beelzebub is Lord of the Flies so it was clearly an agent of the devil. We got up and had a snack. We shared 10 hot wings and 4 Twinkies. 4 X 10 = 40 which is an important number in the Bible. We also did the jumble from the newspaper - the answer was TRASH." After they retired for the night, Mrs. Crackenthorpe said, "I saw Mount Rushmore in my dream, only it had the faces of the Genesis Patriarchs and Noah. Noah was holding an ice cream cone. A voice said to me, 'you will know the rest of the meaning of the vision from your husband's dream'." Mr. Crackenthorpe then added, "In my dream, I saw a trash truck and a black and white cow about the size of a cubit. When we told each other our dreams, it was like a light bulb went off in our heads." Their interpretation of the vision, in conjunction with the events of that evening, is that the ark is hidden in Mount Trashmore, not Mount Ararat. When questioned about the other items in their dream, Mr. Crackenthorpe responded "This is clearly a conspiracy between the government, the dairy industry, and the city of Virginia Beach to hide Noah's ark. If people saw the ark, they would believe in God and stop believing the lies of atheists." The official statement from the city of Virginia Beach is: "This claim is ridiculous and a figment of someone's overactive indigestion." As to the bovine in the dream, the couple believe a plague of small cows may come upon Virginia Beach as a sign of God's judgment.


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