O give me a church where the Calvinists roamWhere discussions of doctrine abound Where seldom is heard a heretical word And big books by the Puritans are found.Church on Gospel groundWhere discussions of doctrine abound Where seldom is heard a heretical word And big books by the Puritans are found.(To the tune of Home on the Range)
Osteen can you say by the Gospel's great light,What so proudly you fail to proclaim from your pulpit.Whose Remonstrance was aimed at Reformed theology,Arminius regressed into Roman soteriology.Charles Wesley was swayedCharles Finney was tooCharles Spurgeon was not; he was God's mighty tool.The atonement was effective for God's providential planBy the will of GodNot the will of man.(Tune of The Star Spangled Banner - could probably use more verses)
Jim, I hope you can see the standing ovation.
Not-so-slim Jim (kids are cruel) and his Ma decided to start one of those new "relevant" praise bands in their little house church on the prairie. However, when they started, they realized they didn't have much to actually say and just ended up repeating "Jesus" over and over again.
LOL that's pretty good.
Aaron, that was great! I actually laughed so loud (a short burst) that my wife thought I bought the farm...and I can't afford to feed any livestock right now, much less, grow potatoes and corn.