"That open-theist book was too much for his heart! Call 555!"
Another Calvinist bit the dust...help me find his wallet!
Talk about predestination! Your tablecloth wasn't even damaged!
If I find traces of arsenic and old lace, I'm calling Frank Capra!
Stand back! I'm a young Benny Hinn and I will attempt to heal the rip in the tablecloth!
This Arminian pastor didn't have a heart attack! He choked on Romans 9!! Quick! Get me one of those long needled syringes that you plunge into the heart!
This is not a human being - IT'S A ROBOT! Human beings are Arminian - Calvinists are...wait! He's still breathing!
He's dead. But, his sandwich hasn't been touched.
I think I overdid the slaying in the spirit.
"Hello! What's this? __Well, well. It seems that when the old boy made his final departure, he was reading this Chick tract titled, "THIS WAS YOUR LIFE."
We were talking about Calvinism. He said that if it were true, then may he be predestined to die right now. Guess he got his wish!
"Anointed-shmointed! He was slain by his cholesterol, not the holy spirit!"