"Say it isn't so, Jim!""Yes, darling, it's true... Our little boy...he's...a Calvinist..."*Cue dramatic and heart-rending music.* ;-)
James D. Calvinist was so shocked by the visiting preacher's message on John 3:16 that it took his wife five minutes to knock him out of it.
Paul, what do you mean "you were predestined to be an Arminian"?You're speaking in contradictions again! Stop it! Stop it before you have a theological breakdown!
Bill, Larry and Mitzi Hagen are coming over for dinner tonight. You know he hates Calvinism. Please don't punch his lights out when he makes a remark about our tulip dinner plates...promise?
"Ted don't! It's too dangerous!""I have to dear. Some's got to tell the search committee we just received Rob Bell's resume.""You mad, brave fool..."
Pastor Dale: "That anti-Calvinist rant is enough to make a preacher cuss."His wife, Ellen: "I know you better than that. You're no Mark Driscoll."
Man: The streets are empty, Mildred. I fear it's the Rapture; we've been left behind...Woman: That's what I thought too at first but isn't it casino night at Seekerville Church? I bet that's where everyone has gone.
lady: "Stop staring at that woman! Who is she anyways and and why are so smitten by her."man: "Her name is grace and I find her irresistable."