As I was doing my term paper on "Was the Ark Wheelchair Accessible?", I noticed a strange bird flying toward my window. It was carrying a bowling pin with it talons. I dropped my Writing Style book and ran for cover. I hid for ten full minutes under the cover before I ventured out. There was a knock at the door. I answered it and was hit by a bowling pin.
Another AttackAs I, Thomas X. Style, was pondering how much Noah's ark must have weighed, I noticed an odd looking bird flying toward my window. It was carrying a Glock in it's talons. I hid in the closet for at least fourteen minutes. You could hear a pin drop. Then the doorbell rang. I opened the front door and was pistol-whipped by a pigeon with a skin condition.
Ark Style"What a beautiful day," Ark D. Christensen exclaims as he pulls his Tortoise Apparel polo shirt over his black Wicker's t-shirt. "Ark, ol' buddy, I like your style. Looking good!"This is going to be a great day, the sharply dressed gentleman thinks cheerfully whilst grabbing his custom-made messenger bag. Thank You, Lord!"...So I'm writing this novel, and the bad guy is trying to pin the murder on my detective character..." Michael T. Robin, the anthropomorphic bird (guess which kind), begins, entering his housemate's bedroom, FundyLand-grown tea in hand, "...but it's not working out too well. Any ideas?""Yeah, I think I may have a few, I really enjoyed read...Mike, watch your step!""Oops!" the robin cries, tripping slightly, sending the contents of his drink all over his friend's shirt."Aw, Mike, I just put this shirt on today," Ark groans, slapping his palm over his eyes. "When are you going to stop being so clumsy?""I, uh, I'll go get a towel and some other stuff," Michael stammers, leaving the room in a hurry.Ark sighs. He didn't mean it...Lord, I'm sorry.As he glances down at his shirt, a verse from his earlier Bible reading came back - And be you kind one to another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, even as God for Christ's sake has forgiven you.I need to do that with Mike..."Back," the penitent bird squeaks, towel in hand. "Eh, it's fine, Mike, I'll just change - thanks. And I'm sorry for exploding on you."The robin perks up. "OK - and thanks. I forgive you.""How about after I change we go grab a bite to eat?""I like that idea - where at?""Wherever you want.""Great! I need to go finish up on the Internet, then I'll be ready."Smiling as his friend leaves, Ark chuckles. Well, my style would look just as good in FundyLand-made polo. Thanks, God, for forgiveness.
I didn't believe Noah and all his ridiculous preaching about judgment. I just wanted to take a look inside the ark and see what was going on.I told Noah I wanted to board and he looked real happy about it. Told him the bird on his shoulder was very beautiful. He just smiled and told me to go on in and have some chips and dip.I have to admit, his style of preaching gripped me like a vise, but I had other things to do. The place actually was very neat considering all the animals on board. But, the stench was starting to get unbearable. I took a clothes pin out of my pocket and attached it to my nose.I ran for the door and told Noah I wasn't staying in that stinkin' building (or ark, as he called it) another minute!When I reached the ground I turned to see the door close all by itself.Then it started to rain.
Impressive yarns, y'all!
Even though I never participated, thank you.
You're very welcome. ;-)