Monday, October 22, 2012

Believe It or Get Out #2

Benjamin Bronkhorst Finney was instrumental in starting the first All-Arminian Church of the We're Not Huguenots and Never Will Be Fellowship of John the Revelator Apostolic Assembly and Half-Full Gospel Missionary Catherdral of Free Will Saints and Agape Day Care Center.
He once  traveled over five hundred miles  just to glove-slap a Calvinist who was washing pots and pans in the Church cafeteria.
His persecution of Calvinists was known throughout the land. He was the first Arminian to build straw men and shoot arrows in them. In every town he visited he left a straw man behind with this warning: Confess Freedom or be Imprisoned!
Benjamin Finney believed he would be crowned "King of the Oceans" by Queen Victoria before his 40th birthday. Historical records show that this would have occurred had not Finney tried to ride a zebra in the annual Arminian Alzheimer's Parade in Manchester.
Benjamin Bronkhorst Finney died in the arms of a Calvinist doctor one day before his 40th birthday!   


  1. Confess freedom or be Imprisoned. Classic!

  2. Hmm... Eddie, thanks for making me cackle.


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