"I was talkin' with George Whitefield the other day and he all he hears as he's ridin' about is this guy named Cotton Adams. Never heard of him - have you?"
So, let me get this straight. If I say that you were born totally depraved again you're going to cut your ear off? Honestly Vincent, you always say that when you can't back up your point, So, you should either do it or shut up!
Well this has been really nice, Gordy, and I do thank you for your hospitality. But when you invited me to come to a "Tea Party," I had something completely different in mind.
"I know you're angry, brother, but when I told the Reverend I'd shave my beard if he could satisfactorily explain free will and the sovereignty of God, I didn't actually think he would do it...and would you mind telling your wife to quit laughing at me???"
Will and Bea Freigh were astonished by the claims of their new friend, Potov Clay. Apparently, he had many brothers and sisters by their wealthy father, Lumpov, but some were given special honor for no work of their own and the others were ousted from the family no matter how hard they worked to fit in.
"Dad didn't make his wealth himself, but a great a powerful benefactor gives it to him constantly. And Dad also always said that none of us were fit to be in the family," Clay told his hosts. "But he kept some of us around anyway and we get the same deal he has with his benefactor."
"I would think you should have a choice in the matter," Will said.
"Well, I suppose we could leave if we wanted to, but who's going to do that?" Clay responded.
"But what about the siblings who have to leave," Bea asked?
Clay paused for a moment as a mournful look crossed his face. "They are generally so upset at their condition that none of them want to stay anyway."
"I can see how you would be sad about that," Bea said.
"That's not the only reason I'm saddened," responded Clay. Then he produced a document showing that Will and Bea were once his siblings.
Shocked and angered Will spat back, "It's true that neither Bea nor I recall our childhood, but if we were your siblings we wouldn't want to have anything to do with your family. I doubt that what you say is true. I can't believe that anyone so free with his wealth would not give everyone the freedom to receive it whether they deserved it or not. Surely your siblings have a choice. We do, and we seem to be getting along quite nicely without it."
"For a time," was all Clay could say.
With all his venom, Will yelled at Clay, "Get out, liar!"
Sorry, Derek, I just got started and couldn't stop until something happened to break the conversation. It's the sort of thing I saw that might be happening here (aside from the Van Gogh lookalikes).
Actually, I happen to like the suggestion from Adrian that the daisies be replaced with tulips.
And I haven't seen the top comment widgit yet. Maybe it's not functioning well after all.
Jerry: So then, what I think I hear you saying is that you couldn't use an extra one to two thousand dollars extra a month. Is that what I'm hearing? Seriously folk, these are products that people use everyday. I mean this stuff practically sells itself. So, what do ya say? Don't you want to take a chance on success? Come on Mom and Dad I really need this one!
So, you're sayin that salvation is like this here teacup? I can choose to pick it up or put it down whenever I want? Somehow that doesn't seem like the God I read about in my Bible.
"I was talkin' with George Whitefield the other day and he all he hears as he's ridin' about is this guy named Cotton Adams. Never heard of him - have you?"
ReplyDeleteSo, let me get this straight. If I say that you were born totally depraved again you're going to cut your ear off? Honestly Vincent, you always say that when you can't back up your point, So, you should either do it or shut up!
ReplyDelete"...and the man described himself as a Supralapsarian, primarily inspired by..."
ReplyDelete"What you keep using them big words for, Doc? Speak English!"
Mishugena your coffee?
ReplyDeleteI'd be more comfortable if you replaced the daisies with tulips Vincent.
ReplyDeleteThat's right Jedediah, I swear I heard him with my own two ears say that he had dug up those golden plates with his own bare hands.
ReplyDeleteSay, Vincent, tell us why you think your outreach to the potato peasants didn't work out too well.
ReplyDeleteI know we're stuck here, but at least we're not in a Thomas Kinkade painting.
ReplyDeleteWell this has been really nice, Gordy, and I do thank you for your hospitality. But when you invited me to come to a "Tea Party," I had something completely different in mind.
ReplyDelete"I know you're angry, brother, but when I told the Reverend I'd shave my beard if he could satisfactorily explain free will and the sovereignty of God, I didn't actually think he would do it...and would you mind telling your wife to quit laughing at me???"
ReplyDelete"What's Theology?"
ReplyDeleteno, really. we know someone who said that. A Christian.
Wait, don't go, Van.
ReplyDeleteWill and Bea Freigh were astonished by the claims of their new friend, Potov Clay. Apparently, he had many brothers and sisters by their wealthy father, Lumpov, but some were given special honor for no work of their own and the others were ousted from the family no matter how hard they worked to fit in.
ReplyDelete"Dad didn't make his wealth himself, but a great a powerful benefactor gives it to him constantly. And Dad also always said that none of us were fit to be in the family," Clay told his hosts. "But he kept some of us around anyway and we get the same deal he has with his benefactor."
"I would think you should have a choice in the matter," Will said.
"Well, I suppose we could leave if we wanted to, but who's going to do that?" Clay responded.
"But what about the siblings who have to leave," Bea asked?
Clay paused for a moment as a mournful look crossed his face. "They are generally so upset at their condition that none of them want to stay anyway."
"I can see how you would be sad about that," Bea said.
"That's not the only reason I'm saddened," responded Clay. Then he produced a document showing that Will and Bea were once his siblings.
Shocked and angered Will spat back, "It's true that neither Bea nor I recall our childhood, but if we were your siblings we wouldn't want to have anything to do with your family. I doubt that what you say is true. I can't believe that anyone so free with his wealth would not give everyone the freedom to receive it whether they deserved it or not. Surely your siblings have a choice. We do, and we seem to be getting along quite nicely without it."
"For a time," was all Clay could say.
With all his venom, Will yelled at Clay, "Get out, liar!"
Jim, that is the most elaborate theological caption I've ever seen!
ReplyDelete[that's not a caption - it's a response to a caption]
[it's also an opportunity for me to advance my "commenter ranking" - I'm going for 1st place!]
[Hey, what's this? You took it away!?!?!]
ReplyDeleteSorry, Derek, I just got started and couldn't stop until something happened to break the conversation. It's the sort of thing I saw that might be happening here (aside from the Van Gogh lookalikes).
ReplyDeleteActually, I happen to like the suggestion from Adrian that the daisies be replaced with tulips.
And I haven't seen the top comment widgit yet. Maybe it's not functioning well after all.
Jerry Van Gogh fails at selling AMWAY.
ReplyDeleteJerry: So then, what I think I hear you saying is that you couldn't use an extra one to two thousand dollars extra a month. Is that what I'm hearing? Seriously folk, these are products that people use everyday. I mean this stuff practically sells itself. So, what do ya say? Don't you want to take a chance on success?
Come on Mom and Dad I really need this one!
So, you're sayin that salvation is like this here teacup? I can choose to pick it up or put it down whenever I want? Somehow that doesn't seem like the God I read about in my Bible.
ReplyDelete