Vernon Fluffenutter, the pastor of the Church of the Now Ready for End Time Prayers, said his prophecies are 100% accurate or you can stone him if they are not fulfilled by the year 2045!
Here are a few of his latest prophetic utterances he made while in mid-sermon:
On Earth Day in the year 2044, the White House will be repainted and called the Green House.
An Oprah clone named Koprah will come out with her own magazine called, OK.
In the year 2044 Roman Catholic pope, Fern Tallowitz, will fall into an open manhole.
Rick Warren's very last book, The Monkey-Driven Evolutionists, will be made into a 3-D TV movie starring Miley Cyrus.
The Federated States of Micronesia, in the year 2043, will declare war on bloggers. Many thousands will lose their lives in the struggle for cyber real estate.
Church, as we know it, will not be like the church as we know it. But the underground church, as we can imagine, will be just like you imagine.
Frosted Flakes will cease to exist.
Corky Velveeta will be added to Mount Rushmore by mistake.