Somewhere in Germany, 1729 - After a young Pietist girl was unexpectedly "slain in the spirit," a controversy erupted between revivalist Bennet Hinnson and his mentor, Katrina Coleman, over who should get credit for the slaying.
I knew it would come to this when I saw her bring the Kings authorized version on the ship and not our Geneva bible, she said they were the same! I say we burn her!
This lithograph discovered in Salem's old library titled "The Judges' Talley by Truth McNailey, lead historians mistakenly to call break-dancing talent shows witch-trials.
Uh...yes dear sister, I do see the young lass writhing there on the ground. However,I do not believe that one being sucker punched is a proved nor proper test for witchery.
Ladies and Gentleman!! We have a winner!! Using only one passage of scripture and a swift upper cut to the jaw, Rebekah the Reformer knocks out Socinian Susie in the first round!
Your Honor, I submit that tis child is a which! She doth not knoweth from one day to the next whither she be saved or not! She has been deceived by the dark sorcerer Arminiam, and is easily changing which she is a child of God or a child of the Devil!
Somewhere in Germany, 1729 - After a young Pietist girl was unexpectedly "slain in the spirit," a controversy erupted between revivalist Bennet Hinnson and his mentor, Katrina Coleman, over who should get credit for the slaying.
ReplyDeleteI knew it would come to this when I saw her bring the Kings authorized version on the ship and not our Geneva bible, she said they were the same! I say we burn her!
ReplyDeleteThis lithograph discovered in Salem's old library titled "The Judges' Talley by Truth McNailey, lead historians mistakenly to call break-dancing talent shows witch-trials.
ReplyDeleteSo one day young Benny Hinn was browsing through "An Illustrated History of the Puritans", saw this picture, and he got this great idea. ...
ReplyDeleteFaking a fainting spell again...BURN BABY BURN!
ReplyDeleteI'll have what she's having
ReplyDeleteUh...yes dear sister, I do see the young lass writhing there on the ground. However,I do not believe that one being sucker punched is a proved nor proper test for witchery.
ReplyDeleteGirl on the ground: Thank you kind sir.
Gentlemen, Gentlemen, enough with this Slain in the Spirit, how do we set her aright and back at making coffee?
ReplyDeleteGirl on the floor: "Stop it! I can't take another word!"
ReplyDeleteJudge: "I knew reading from Your Best Life Now would be suitable punishment for her lying!"
Man: "But, sir, why'd you have to go and punish us too?"
OK, it's not very funny. But's all I got, I tells ya!
Ladies and Gentleman!! We have a winner!! Using only one passage of scripture and a swift upper cut to the jaw, Rebekah the Reformer knocks out Socinian Susie in the first round!
ReplyDeleteY'all got some great ones on this!
ReplyDelete:D
But........
I got nuthin'
I vote for Mrs. Persis!
ReplyDeleteBut they're all hilarious!
{A moment earlier...}
ReplyDeleteEgalitarian Woman: Women are just like men.
Complementarian woman: I'm no man - I gladly submit to my husband and he cares for my needs.
Egalitarian woman: I'll show you "submission" [lays Complementarian woman out *WHAM*]
[now...]
Husband to his Complementarian wife: My dear Mary!
Men in the room: Look! See what she did! We men can't strike women like that!
Egalitarian woman {to judge}: That settles it then: women are even better than men! I demand the right to be treated like a man!
[A moment later...]
Husband of Complementarian woman [to Egalitarian woman]: Lady, you just assumed the right for me to deck you!
"...and then she hit me with her copy of Ten Steps to a Better You and so I hit her with my copy of Do Unto Others As They Do Unto You."
ReplyDeletesorry... I am just not that good at this. I will practice more.
Your Honor, I submit that tis child is a which! She doth not knoweth from one day to the next whither she be saved or not! She has been deceived by the dark sorcerer Arminiam, and is easily changing which she is a child of God or a child of the Devil!
ReplyDelete