Things Said on My Own Facebook Page (Orange Edition)

You think you have it bad. I got addicted to placebos.

Puns are bad, but poetry is verse.

Until the Iraq War, most of us thought Sunni and Shia were the Sixties duo who had the hit 'I Got You Babe.'

I have lived for weeks on nothing but food and drink.

I am having an out of money experience.

When God created the earth, He included His "art" in the middle of it all. The "earth" without "art" is just "eh."

I ordered a whole duck at the Chinese restaurant last night! It was great until I got to the bill.

It’s a small world but I wouldn’t want to paint it.

Arnold Schwarzenegger was asked if he wanted to upgrade to Windows 7. He replied "I still love Vista, baby".

Last night I dreamed I was writing 'Lord of the Rings'. Turns out I was Tolkien in my sleep.

It's a little known fact that 'the tan' became popular during what is known as the Bronze Age.

I was thrilled when I got my ant farm in the mail. I took good care of my ants, but one day I noticed one little ant sort of despondent. I couldn't cheer him up. I even bought him a tiny little tractor so he could farm better. Nothing worked. Then, the next day I woke up and found that he had committed insecticide.