What was Said on Facebook Last Year

I was half way to work yesterday before I realized I had forgotten my car.

I speak two languages, Body and English.

The strawberry shampoo doesn’t taste as good as it smells.

I’m not sure how much longer I can hide the fact that I’m a robot.

Just reading The Chubby Checker Story. No spoilers please, apparently there's a twist.

1 in 6 people in the world are Chinese. There are 6 people in my family, so it must be one of them. It's either my mom or my dad, or my sister Sandy. It might be my older brother, Lin Ye Tang, or my other sister Virginia. But I think it's Sandy.

The hardest tongue-twister, for me at least, is "Boy Gargoyle, Girl Gargoyle".

Every so often, I like to go to the window, look up, and smile for a satellite picture.

Depresso: When you've run out of coffee.

Freak out your neighbors. Name your wifi "FBI Surveillance Van".

I do all my own stunts, but never intentionally.

Butterflies aren't what they used to be.

Went to the Kuwait Zoo yesterday where I was hugged and then mauled by a bipolar bear.

Of all the martial arts, karaoke inflicts the most pain.

I've never been skydiving, but I've zoomed in on Google Earth really really fast.