Even upon hearing a no holds barred delivery of the gospel a young Jack Box was more resolute than ever to live a life of sewing to his flesh and chasing after this world and all of its pleasures.
Disappointed and feeling a little embarrased at the lack of decisions at the first two meetings, Evangelist Emory Blaine hires Jack to "come forward" at the invitation, hoping that others will follow.
Repent and be ye baptized Jack! Just last week your friend Chester Cheetah answered the altar call and I baptized him, along with numerous other furry woodland creatures!
Hearing for the first time a young Jack N. Box contemplated springing forward to recieve the new life the Tele-Evangelist offered especially when he cried out "I release you from your captivity and bondage in the name of Geessusss!"
" The Bible says there will come a time when men will not hold to good doctrine. They will become lovers of themselves and seek only to fulfill their flesh. "
Op-Ed: ...and he was correct because he was preaching from the Bible
" Mark my words. If men and women of the 1950s do not repent, eventually television will be totally violent and full of fornication. Homosexuality will become the law of the land. Doctors will kill babies instead of save them. Preachers will talk about propserity and sel-help from the pulpits instead of the word of God."
Caption " We may have a garage-stlye praise band with flashing lights and loud amplifiers but do not think for one minute that this means you can dance..."
It wasn't until Pastor Perception pointed to her that Sally May Besinnin began to feel guilty, nay convicted, about stealin Jenny Dogooders boyfriend at the Fall Holy Ghost Weenie Roast.
The rampant controversy of the future, that of mascotography, pitting mascotclasts against mascotdules, is seen here to have been started by one elders attempts to stay relevant in the silly attempt to hide a restaurant chain mascot in his congregation.
There is no getting around clicking on this picture. Unless you have 100/100 vision.
ReplyDelete"I can't see into your hearts, but I know that at least one of you isn't a follower of the King®."
ReplyDelete(Was that last comment a little too obscure?)
ReplyDeleteIt was out of the box...fantastic!
ReplyDeleteEven upon hearing a no holds barred delivery of the gospel a young Jack Box was more resolute than ever to live a life of sewing to his flesh and chasing after this world and all of its pleasures.
ReplyDeleteDisappointed and feeling a little embarrased at the lack of decisions at the first two meetings, Evangelist Emory Blaine hires Jack to "come forward" at the invitation, hoping that others will follow.
ReplyDeleteJack put on his best Osteen smile.
ReplyDeleteJack swallowed hard, thinking the evangelist warned him that he had an axe and two 38s.
ReplyDeleteYou're wasting your time Jack, pumpkins aren't elect.
ReplyDeleteRepent and be ye baptized Jack! Just last week your friend Chester Cheetah answered the altar call and I baptized him, along with numerous other furry woodland creatures!
ReplyDeleteHearing for the first time a young Jack N. Box contemplated springing forward to recieve the new life the Tele-Evangelist offered especially when he cried out "I release you from your captivity and bondage in the name of Geessusss!"
ReplyDelete" The Bible says there will come a time when men will not hold to good doctrine. They will become lovers of themselves and seek only to fulfill their flesh. "
ReplyDeleteOp-Ed: ...and he was correct because he was preaching from the Bible
" Mark my words. If men and women of the 1950s do not repent, eventually television will be totally violent and full of fornication. Homosexuality will become the law of the land. Doctors will kill babies instead of save them. Preachers will talk about propserity and sel-help from the pulpits instead of the word of God."
ReplyDeleteOp-Ed: Alas, he was correct again.
THE Winner!
DeleteCaption " We may have a garage-stlye praise band with flashing lights and loud amplifiers but do not think for one minute that this means you can dance..."
ReplyDeleteIt wasn't until Pastor Perception pointed to her that Sally May Besinnin began to feel guilty, nay convicted, about stealin Jenny Dogooders boyfriend at the Fall Holy Ghost Weenie Roast.
ReplyDeleteAnd you can wipe those smiles off your faces. Some of you will be smiling all the way to HELL!
ReplyDeleteThe rampant controversy of the future, that of mascotography, pitting mascotclasts against mascotdules, is seen here to have been started by one elders attempts to stay relevant in the silly attempt to hide a restaurant chain mascot in his congregation.
ReplyDeleteAarron, I appreciate you commenting on older posts. Not only are you adding your blend of humor, you are also drawing others to look in the archives!
Delete